late but merry christmas

hope you all had a fabulous day celebrating with people that you love... we had Christmas here in Oamaru with my sister, parents and my Granny.... it was brilliant. great food, and great presents oh and great company :)

yesterday we had an early birthday tea for Benjamin, its his birthday on the 2nd but he will be in Chch writing and we will be at Lake Tekapo or here in Oamaru, yummy roast chicken and homemade lemon meringue pie for desert....

highs of 2010

wow, its nearly the end of the year, its been trying at times and hard work, but I have survived my first year as a Mama to four awesome little people...

so this year we clocked up some neat milestones, 12 years of being married, and year 6 of PhD land.... Miss N reached a lot of firsts, smiling, crawling, walking, still feeding. Mr O went from a cot sleeping, nappy wearing, dummy sucking little boy, to an independant kindy kid. Miss L started school which is a huge thing in itself and is taking it all in her stride, Miss K lost 3 teeth and has formed some great friendships which I hope will last her a life time.....

I have lost some weight, yay me, got my mobility back, started Black Bow designs, supported Ben in his study, got elected to NZLP Womens council, sponsored a sling walk, become a better friend,  owned our own house for a year and celebrated 12 months medication free... not too bad really.....

phd... the mistress that I know about

and a very demanding one at that....I know other wives that have felt the same, or you just feel like its totally taken over your Husbands life and that you come second to it... thank goodness the damn thing is close to being completed.

blogosphere

some places I like to go to read are  the awesome Stef, her travel and food photos are awesome, for political happenings I love THM.. for more intellectual stuff Deborah writes amazingly. I went to school with Anna and her blog makes me giggle.

A blog named fred is another that I visit often, and I love reading blogging project runway, but if you havent seen season 8 dont read it. Carla is another blogger I read, Tales of  a red headed devil is neat for crafty knitting madness.... I like reading Nick Verreos of project runway fame too....


hopefully you might find something you like above

love D

christmas is coming

and I am not organised enough at all, I have a present for K,L and N, but no ideas really for Mr3, we are on a really tight budget that is not helped by petrol hitting the $2 a litre mark. Most of our money is being used for our trip south next weekend.

my present was to get my hair coloured properly, so I now have nice blonde hair instead of terribly dyed at home brassy blonde hair... it seems like a strange present but it was something I wanted to get done and I love how it looks... and I had a voucher of 50% off which helped make it affordable.

I have made my sisters present and I won a gorgeous necklace for her earlier this year, I am making something for Mum and we are getting Dad a joint present. Ben choose his own present and hes pretty happy with that. Its the first time in ages that I have struggled to get organised and to be excited about it all, maybe it will get better once the girls finish school on Wednesday

this time next month

we shall be celebrating... yahoo, the PhD will be handed in and we will be able to relax a bit.. wahoo..... now to get through the next month...

night feeding

I need some help.. I am getting a bit tired of feeding bubs 3 or 4 times a night, I will not let her cry it out as I hate it.. so I am asking for strategies that worked for you... it seems the more stressed I am the more she wakes at night which isnt helping the situation at all....

she has yet to sleep the whole night and is over 12 months old, the longest sleep I have had since august last year is 7 hours....

D

questioning faith

I am not sure if its my faith that I am questioning or the lack of sense of belonging at the church I currently attend.. I have been feeling like this since I shifted back from Oamaru, a sense of dislocation from the community of my church and just not really feeling like I fit in... So next year I am going to see what else there is out there... I aren't 100% sure what I am looking for but I want to be happy in my choice.

I sometime wonder about my extended family too... I am a Labour supporter and quite open about it, I just wonder if I fit at all... some of it comes from having gone to uni, and I am not saying I am better than anyone, it just gives you a different outlook on life, some of it is political that my stance is different, and some is just that I have never really fitted in.

My parents are lefties too, so was my Grandma, I use to have awesome conversations with her about politics and who to vote for, she loved MMP, she lived in Wigram and could vote for Jim Anderton and vote Labour, best of both worlds she thought. I am just feeling a bit lost in a few ways and when that's happening its so easy to just question everything around you.

is it s a luxury...

I have decided lately that its great that we live so close to our school that there is no point what so ever in driving my girls to school. Its lead me to wonder though if that is a luxury or not.... We chose to move into our school zone so our children has automatic entry and we bought our house on the same street as school for convenience and because it was the right price.

What I also wondered was if what was normal for me of walking to and from school with out Mum was now not the norm for most kids... it was one of the factors in our shifting house too that we the girls be able to have some Independence in getting themselves either too or from school some days, Miss K loves being able to walk home with Miss L, I don't let them walk alone, they must be together. Its also nice that a lot of other children around us walk too.. and this morning I was able to get our neighbour to walk Miss L to school as Miss K is home sick.

Another advantage of our living so close to school and kindy is that I now use 1 tank of petrol a fortnight, which is half of what we were using when we had to drive to school. We did choose though to not send Miss K to our closest school when she started school as we intended to shift to the area we now live in.

Its also great that Ben is able to bike to and from work too, its a nuisance to do buses from our place as you have to go right into town then out to Massey, and he can bike the 7km in about 20 minutes which at peak times is quicker than driving there.

D

on the soapbox.. breastfeeding in Public

Some women I know staged a breastfeeding sit in last week to protest on of their friends treatment in a cafe.... the woman was approached and told not to feed there and that breastfeeding was unhygienic.... seriously? what country are we living in?

When I had K, I struggled a lot with breastfeeding her, and would use a shawl over us when she was tiny to breastfeed in public, as I got more confident I would just feed her whenever and wherever she needed it.... now I am happy and comfortable that I just feed when N needs it too....

I had a woman pull my top down over the side of my breast earlier this year, I found it strange and offensive that she thought she had the right to do that too me, esp as we were waiting in the women's health clinic at the Hospital... I didn't say anything and now wish I had.

Why does a woman breastfeeding in public cause such alarm among some people... to me its perfectly natural and normal to do this, I would never comment to a woman bottle feeding her baby that its unhygienic or disgusting yet people do this to breastfeeding mothers a lot.

I get the whole breasts are sexual thing, but seriously breasts are there to feed babies too... multi functional things breasts are..... but if you are classifying breasts as sexual and that they should not be seen in public like that, then had we better start covering our mouths and hands too. They can be used for sexual purposes too.

And as for the woman's comments that its not good for kids to see breasts... well I don't get that either.... my children are comfortable with me breastfeeding, and what parent has never had their child walk in to the bathroom when showering, little kids don't care about breasts... they are just breasts to them, nothing sexual in it.

Anyway, rant over, and big ups to the women who took a stand on this.

weight loss journey

its taking a while, but my journey is getting better, I was a size 24 after I had miss K, my hip measurement was 133cm, and my bust was 125cm, pretty big really, so I have been slowly loosing weight since then and getting more active, I measured myself in the weekend and my hips are 120cm and my bust is 116cm, wow, they are still too big but its awesome to see that I really am smaller than I was. I am hoping to start doing more exercise soon esp as its school holidays I want to start walking or biking more with the kids.

I am quite proud of myself, its a huge battle for me to not eat crap or drink coke and coffee laden with sugar, so its nice to see that it is paying off....

D

headaches

so I am still getting nasty headaches, I am trying to drink more water but still getting them, my GP suggested trying to lower my stress levels as that's probably whats causing them but its really hard for me to relax at the moment... I am worried about Christmas, about travelling, about money and about Ben getting his PhD finished... any ideas for relaxation would be welcomed....

I hate how it makes me act too, I am not liking the person I have been today, grumpy, head achy, just blah and not good....

love D

date night

we have been having some issues with Miss K going to bed and staying there, we are not sure if its an attention seeking thing or if there is some reason that she wont talk to us about, so last weekend we instituted a tick chart... stay in bed 5 nights in a row and Mama will take you out for a fluffy as a reward.. well it did work, and last night her and I put on our nice dresses and went out for hot chocolates and ice cream..... it was really nice to have some one on one time with her and we were able to talk about some things which was great.

Miss L currently has a tick chart going too.. hers is to do with eating all her tea.... she often will eat 5 or 6 mouthfuls then say shes finished, so shes been making a real effort to eat all her tea, shes got her 5 ticks and I will plan something for her and I next week I think.

the problem though is that Miss K earned her 5 ticks then stopped staying in bed... so do we start the chart again? or does some other measure need to be taken?

D

Monday, Monday

and the words to that song often  goes around in my head on a monday morning when I am trying to catch up on things, but this morning I have hung out washing and am about to start tidying the living room, its so warm though that I have got the air con going....

And this afternoon I get to go to breastfeeding group which will be really good, I love going to it, and am proud that I have gotten bubs to 12 months breastfed with no formula or bottles at all, yay, so 2/4 have been breastfed till 12 months, L I got to 11 months, and K to 10 months with formula supplementing the breastfeeding.... to have continued feeding after the disasterous start I had with K is awesome, I had cracked nipples, blisters, mastitis requiring hospitalisation, latching issues, just major mountain to climb, and now its just so easy, I am really proud of my breastfeeding journey and think I am lucky to have had great support to have gotten this far with it.

D

my darling baby is one

yesterday was Baby N's 1st birthday, shes just gorgeous, and we are so blessed that shes part of our family.... but instead of raving about her I will just leave you a gorgeous image of her instead because we think shes the most beautiful baby ever.... this was taken just after a breastfeed, I love the way it makes them so drowsy

party tomorrow

its Mr O's 3rd birthday tomorrow, far out has that gone quickly, we have got him a big tonka fire truck which I am hoping he will love as hes hugely into fire trucks and any other vehicles at the moment, next Thursday Miss N turns one so we are having a joint party for them tomorrow afternoon.

Next year we might have separate parties but at 3 and 1 we don't think its important esp as the same guests would have been invited anyway.

so this time tomorrow I will be sitting here recovering from an awesome party for my two littlies.

D

breaking the addiction

because I am rather anxious at the moment I have been drinking a can or 600ml bottle of coke most days, but yesterday I decided no more, if I want coke it has to be coke zero and its not going to be as often as I have been drinking it, I am going to try to cut down sugar in my coffee too... why I ask myself? I am now the lightest I have been in over 10 years, yep 95kgs.. still too much but coming down so I need to get moving, I ran most of the way home pushing the double buggy this afternoon and walked rather quickly too school, so my aim is to walk the school trip faster, cut back on sugar and other crap food and really try to lose some more weight, I am liking being able to wear smaller clothes or having my clothes fit nicer so I am really trying to do this and to keep myself honest about it.

D

the end is near...

yay, Ben has a date for submission of his PhD, yahoo.... its the 10th of Jan... still hanging over us for
Xmas but that's OK a date is good.

So our plans are head south on the 18th of December, he will stay in Christchurch till Christmas and study and I will take the kids south to my parents. We will all go camping between Christmas and New years then Ben will head back to Christchurch to study and submit the PhD and I will stay with Mum and Dad... then we will all head home, yay.

I am happy that we know when its all got to be finished by, hes working such crazy hours that he will be so tired once its all done. But hopefully it will be worth it, well I am hoping it is.

D

first steps...

Miss N has been taking one step here and one there for a few weeks now, but today she did it.. she just kept going... 6 steps in a row, it was so cute and I was so proud of her. And she then did it again when Ben got home so it wasnt a fluke....

So looks like my youngest bubba will be my youngest walker too....

broken wrist

I just realised that I hadn't even blogged that Miss L had fractured her wrist so the comments about her cast coming off totally wouldn't have made sense

She green stick fractured it on the second Monday of the school holidays... she was pushed over by miss K and fell awkwardly... and of course all the drama happened at 5:30pm so was not brilliant timing at all for any of us.

She was great about it all, really brave and lucky that it didn't snap the bone at all, apparently its a really common break, and it only needed a cast for 4 weeks. The cast she chose was awesome, light blue and it glowed in the dark.....

So after 7 years of being a parent we had our first big injury, not that bad really but was horrible seeing her in pain....

D

wow

so there are some changes happening in my life that I cant really go public with yet, but its very cool and giving me a new direction for some current projects.

miss L has had her cast off after fracturing her wrist in the school holidays, she and I are happy that its gone, it was a pain to keep it dry to bath and shower but glad wrap is awesome stuff for keeping water off casts.

We have 2 birthdays coming up, hard to believe that Miss N is going to be one soon, shes just gorgeous and a real blessing to us, she can take a step when standing so we are hoping she might be walking soon, Mr O is 3 5 days before her birthday, gosh time is flying so fast this year.

the dratted Phd is still being written, I am so over it, just wish it was done so we could get on with life.... but hey the end is near on it which is great.

Miss K is great, so much healthier now shes had those tonsils out.... its nice that shes not missing school like she was.

I am doing ok, still not 100% but trying to get things done and keep some routine going....

D

have been away

Bubs and I went to Auckland for a few days, to do the sling walk and to go to Labour party conference.


It was great to get away from the normal routine and to meet lots of old friends and meet some new ones too.... Baby girl was really good and it was nice just being her and I.

the slingwalk was awesome... over 70 people attended it, it was a stunning day and I got tomato red sunburn which was so painful (note to self: put sunblock on when you take your cardy off)

Conference was good too, I got elected onto Womens council which is very cool, I havent been on it since 2003.

D

me...

I need a bit of help... I am flat and down, but am trying to keep moving, I need some ideas of something I could do for myself to help move forward.. I am trying to be positive and keep moving forward, taking my medication again is helping but I need to do a bit more than just that.

I am going to Auckland for a weekend just soon which I am really looking forward too... so I was thinking about what clothes to take, they need to be smart, but comfortable and feeding friendly, I have 2 sling orders to do then I can create something nice for me, I am a sponsor for the sling walk so want to wear something nice to that, but not ott.... will need to think about comfy shoes too... hmmm I know it all sounds shallow but its giving me something positive to think about and to do for me, I also want to have another sort out of my clothing.. I have far too much.

love D

rough patch

I have hit a low patch... I am pleased though that I saw it coming and have started taking my medication again, I had been off my anti depressants for 12 months which is the longest since I was 17 so I am really pleased about that, it shows that I can do ok with life. But things have been getting on top of me and my anxiety levels have been out of whack so I have started on my meds again. Its been 2 weeks now and they are slowly beginning to work which is good.

I am really pleased though that it wasn't Mum or Ben telling me I was low this time, I saw it coming and took action which was really good. I hate feeling like this and am hoping that once the meds kick in I will start feeling a lot better again, its so annoying I have so much in my life to be grateful for yet I feel like crap.... oh well maybe things will get better soon.

love D

2010 Auckland Sling walk sponsor

I am sponsoring my first thing as a business.. how damn cool is that, click on the link to the side and see where it takes you, love D

wardrobe wednesday.. opps forgot

but iwas wearing similar today so I just swapped the dress to show you what I had on yesterday, its a apron top, but dress length with a self belt and a waterfall skirt at the back.... its made out of an old sari. I wore it with black boots, white t shirt and black 3/4 leggings....

tired grumpy and stressed

I am tired, had have a nasty headache all day and I am stressing out big time... I have had a busy day yesterday with 18 kids here for Miss L's party so had a quiet day today, but my big stress at the moment is more worry actually... I am scared, Miss K is having her tonsils out tomorrow, I know its routine, I know what they will do etc, but shes my baby and I don't like the idea of her being in pain....

so i am scared, stressed, anxious etc, we have to be at the hospital at 7am and things will go from there, I know that it should be fine... but shes so little and shes my wee girl .... and i am just being normal...

earthquake

we were woken on Saturday moring to the news that Christchurch had been hit by a 7.1 earthquake, thank god  that no one died....looking at the photos make me sad, I lived in Chch for 5 years, so each photo of a familiar place makes me fell worse

there have been over 270 aftershocks and its those aftershocks that are doing the emotion damage to people. its so sad and really hard feeling like I cant help up here. This website gives a really clear indication of how often the aftershocks are happening and why people are so on edge...

Our families are all ok, Bens parents places are fine which is great, and my parents are further south in Oamaru so they havent been affected by it.

anyway huge hugs to any of you that are affected and if ther is a way we can help please ask.

my girl is finishing Kindy today

My wee miss L is 5 on Monday, she will start school that day... I am sad about her being so grown up, its a bittersweet feeling as she is so ready to start school, and so excited... shes very philosophical about it, when I asked her if she would miss kindy she said "no Mama, I can just go to the fence and see them," and she will see her kindy teacher when Mr O starts kindy next term....

wardrobe wednesday

this is what I wore today, being the first day of spring so I decided against wearing tights.... the skirt I made over the weekend, its a gorgeous cotton sateen and I am in love with it, the red t shirt I got in a clothing swap and the same with the denim jacket, Mr O wanted to be in the photo too....

D

home alone, well with the kids

Ben is away for a week, so its my first parenting alone session with 4 kids, its taking a bit of juggling but I am doing pretty good so far, having music on in the evenings helps, and keeping our routine going is going to be the biggest way to keep things fine....

I didnt want him to go, but am doing ok, was nervous as to how I would go last night, but we did fine, the kids were good at doing what was expected of them.

so one day down and 6 to go.....

wednesday wardrobe... week 2

I will add a photo as soon as I can, but my outfit today was a grey hat, a red merino v necked top, black below knee shorts and my fave red boots....., comfy for school run etc and nice and bright, the hat was to cover up a bad hair day

feeling sick

for the first time in over 2 years I have the flu... sore body, sore head and a temperature, Ben got it first, then K, and now me..... I haven't had a temperature for a while now and I had forgotten how truly horrid it makes you feel... thank goodness for panadol and sleep...

what I am finding really hard is drinking and eating enough, esp as I am breastfeeding, has anyone got some hints on something that's easy to eat or drink that wont make me want to throw up?

D

wardrobe Wednesday....

I found this while surfing today over at Dee construction..... so I looked further... and the idea is that you post an outfit that you have worn that week

so here is my contribution for the week....

Black pillowcase dress made out of a sari, blue knee high boots, black warehouse leggings(not seen) and a black warehouse t shirt.....

school soon

three weeks today Miss L will start school... wow, she will be 5, I look at her some days and wonder where that time has gone, I will have 2 wee girls at school and two lil ones at home with me....

I am actually really excited about her starting school, shes bored at kindy and needs some new challenges. She is ready for school too, she has her first school visit this week and has been doing Smart Start for a few weeks now. (smart start is a system our school has where we take them on a Monday afternoon to school for an hour in the class they will be in with the teacher and anyone else starting in the next 8-10 weeks..)

I have to get the last bits of her uniform this pay and then we just have to wait for her to start and to plan a 5th birthday party..... which will be after she starts school as Ben is away the week before her birthday and I don't want to plan everything on top of a week of parenting alone....

D

new blog

I decided to add a blog to my business stuff, so that I could have a bit more personal stuff, and some more writing behind what I do....

love D

2 years of blogging today

happy blogversary to me.. wow 2 years, I am somewhat amazed that I have stuck with this blogging business.... I started when Mr O was 8 1/2 months old, the same age Miss N is now.... my eldest had just started school, in three weeks time I will have 2 girls at school....

Some days I wonder why I do it, but generally I really like having a space to write, its not always brilliant writing, but I try and I enjoy it.

so happy blogversary to me

Black Bow designs has a logo

yep.. my label has its own logo... am so pleased with it, just love how it looks, it was exactly what I asked for, simple, elegant, a bow and italic writing......

But I will let you make up your own minds... I am in love with it, and smile everytime I see it on my facebook page which by the way has over 270 fans....

D

World Breastfeeding week

Breastfeeding Miss K at Sumner beach in the middle of winter

I am pretty passionate about breastfeeding, I think it comes from the huge struggle I had with Miss K, learning how to feed her was horrid, the sore, cracked, (now scared) nipples, the difficulty latching, the low weight gain, neonates, mum being in hospital, mastitis, iv antibiotics, the list was endless.... but we got there, I fed her till she was 10 months, Miss L was feed exclusively by me till 5 months and then until 11 months, she had formula once or twice... Mr O was breastfed till 14 months and Miss N is going strong at 8 months....

girls feeding their babies... aged 4 and 2.. now 7 and nearly 5

My biggest support other than Ben were the fabulous Lactation consultants at the Hospital, the gave me believe in myself that I could do it... so I now like to help others to be able to breastfeed too... I go to a group on a Monday and help support other Mums who are doing this too.....

Feeding Miss L in neonates

I do other things too, like put random photos on web pages.. this lead to a story being published today....It's about breastfeeding and jaundice....

feeding mr O aged 9 months

I am lucky breastfeeding has gotten easier for me, but I will not forget the struggle that it was, and will not judge other Mums for their choices.....

Feeding Miss N aged 3 months

need to rant

I am feeling really pissed off, I have made a Mei tai carrier to sell, I have called it a Palmsupial... that's not the problem,. the problem is that a woman I went to school with saw them on my business page, made one and is now selling them too...

I don't know whether to approach her about it, or to just leave it, anyway it makes me unhappy and I have been careful not to sell/make things that my friends are making, I have tried to keep away from that as I feel its unethical.

I am able to make most things I see yet I don't as I respect the creators rights on it. I understand that most clothing ideas come from someone else etc, nothing is new, its just frustrating me as I am making these to sell and shes copied my idea and doing it too....

babywearing.....

I just read a blog post about the term babywearing being insulting to babies... I don't think it is... to me it implies a way of life where carrying you baby in a sling , carriers, piece of cloth is normal, that keeping baby close is important and helps with bonding, and makes life easier for parent/carer and for bubs.

Its like its a movement that promotes baby's wellbeing and happiness... maybe it could be termed something else, but what? baby slinging sounds bad.... and I cannot think of other names for using a sling.

I love wearing my baby in her sling, its nice to have her close, shes contented when in the sling, shes happy and that's one of the main reasons I do it. Its great for bonding, for breastfeeding, for having free hands to look after my other kids... I am a convert, babywearing is awesome.

can I have another weekend please

we have had a hugely busy weekend and I need another one so I can recover..... we have been to two birthday parties, a bastketball game, another friends for coffee, had an extra for the night, had one away for a night... and a teething baby.

Its been great though but I need a rest. I made a wee apron too for the birthday today so was sewing too, and trying to catch up on the washing too.  Oh well tomorrow is another day, so I will try to get stuff done that I have neglected today.

d

black bow designs is online

Today I launched my own website,  I had an awesome helper who has helped make it look fabulous.... please go check it out.

D

co sleeping

I somehow ended up being interviewed for the Herald on Sunday via email about co sleeping, it cam up on facebook through a group I belonged to that a journalist was wanting to talk to co sleeping parents about their experiences and the advice they had been given by midwives, Drs, nurses etc....o I talked via email to the journalist and I was quoted in the article.

I have co slept with all our babies, with K she was over 3 months I think before I did,  I was scared that she was so little and I found it difficult to sleep with her, my confidence as a mum has grown though and now most of the night little N sleeps with me, they have all slept in the daytime in their cot and from 1am most nights they sleep with us. I have read about the risks from co sleeping, and I decided that it works for us.... I am not suggesting thought that everyone should do it.

I did an informal poll of friends on facebook, some co sleep happily others didnt, it was discouraged when I was a baby and thats ok, we make choices from the information that we have available to us, and that was the gist of the article in the paper, that information is not being given to Mums about co sleeping, its benefits and its risks.

So readers what are your thoughts on this?

love D

I'm Back.....

sorry its been a busy week, and I have neglected my writing of posts.... I have had my sister here and its been so nice just hanging out together. I miss having her close, its 10 yers now since we last lived in the same place, ages really, and I miss doing ordinary things with her. I miss hanging out with my Mum and Dad too, but I am lucky as we are heading south fror the school holidays next month, yay 2 weeks in the South Island, my Granny is coming to visit us at Mum and Dads so she can see her great grandchildren and meet Miss N.

Its the longest that I have ever not gone south, it will have been a whole year, when we first shifted up here I would just go whenever I wanted too.. now its carefully planned to the cheapest flights and the easiest way to travel with children. I am flying by myself with the 4 kids, will be interesting, but K and L are pretty independant now so it will be ok, and they have flown heaps now so the quite enjoy it.

So Home here we come.

D
ps no its not me in the photo its my sister, shes not my twin..... 

wow, what a day

we have had an amazing day for Miss N, we had her baptism this morning and she was just so great, we had heaps of friends and family here for it and I got through it.....

The service was lovely, she dipped her hand in the water/font thingy and had a play which was very cute, she didn't cry at all, and was lovely and smiley all morning, we then squeezed into our wee house for lunch etc, at one stage there were 42 of us here, including 8 children under 7 years of age, they were 6,5,4,3,2,2,1 and 6 months, plus 3 twelve year old boys, and some older teenagers, it was really neat.

We had lovely homemade pumpkin soup and a laksa style soup and french sticks for lunch, and most those over 16 had a nip of Glenfiddich to "wet" baby's head again. It was a pain that it rained most of the day as it has meant there are only one or two family photos and I would have loved to have gotten more, maybe I will get some tomorrow, I might just get us guys all dressed the same as today and take some of  us all.

D

doing ok

family members start arriving tomorrow for N's baptism on Sunday, its why I have been so stressed, but I think I am doing ok today, the house is looking fine, I mowed the lawns, there is baking in the fridge, and I have half made a top for me to wear. I am hoping to get the top finished in the morning before my parents arrive and we just have mr O's room to tidy. So hopefully we will be ok.

love D

nearly done

with this blogging daily business, its been good, it has certainly helped me clear my head a few times which has been great, its helped me get back into the routine of posting and its made me think about a few things too. So over all even though I missed a couple of days due to a need to have a break I am quite pleased with my efforts.

love D

that wasnt much of a post

but I just had to share how gorgeous miss N is... A friend took some gorgeous photos of her and mr O today, they are just lovely, and make me realise how blessed we are to have 4 amazing healthy children.

Its funny how people see different ones of our kids in each other.... there are expressions or looks that each of them has that is unique but they all have a oneness too, they have a look that unifies them as siblings, its very cool, and it amazes me at time how people comment that they look alike, but shouldnt they when they have the same parents? maybe its just me, but I kind of expect them to look similar in some way, it might be because my sister and I look similar or something. Anyway I have added a photo of my gorgeous youngest babies who look similar but unique and I am totally in love with them, over the weekend I will get some of my two big girls together too and of them all together. They are all amazing wee people and I am truely blessed to be part of their lives

cute.

somehow this doesn't need words

stressed yet... yep totally

I am feeling very stressed at the moment, we have wee N's baptism this weekend coming, so the pressure is on to make sure that everything is organised, the house is tidy, the kids clothes are organised, there is enough food, and then there are the relatives who are coming, its the first family event since Bens parents separated and we are not 100% sure how things will work.... so I am stressed about that too....

We have also organised a 30th birthday dinner for my sister this weekend too..... I am just over analysising everything, and I am sure it will be fine, but I tend to stress a lot when we have these sort of events in our lives. The actual baptism is sorted, its just the getting to Sunday that will stress me further, I might have to schedule some me time in the next couple of days so that I cope, to add to the anxiety our car needs registered and warranted tomorrow or Wednesday so that its legal to use... so more money to be spent.

mmm oh well, maybe I will just go to bed soon and it will feel better after some sleep.

love D

Hoping it doesnt rain

We have had a couple of weeks of gross weather, the sort that makes getting washing dry outside pretty impossible, so I am fighting a pile of washing that is getting out of control, I have managed to get some out on the line today and am really hoping that it doesn't rain. We use to have a nice covered in area at our old house which meant I could hang out washing when ever I wanted but I do not have that here.... I am contemplating building a covered in area so that we can get washing dry outside.

I am also contemplating buying a clothes dryer as our one died last year, its becoming a necessity with 6 of us in the family.

D

new look

I have to admit that I read Widges blog today and shes updated her look.... so I decided that I was actually sick of my look too so here is my new look

brief hiatus from the pc

I have had a two day self imposed hiatus from this computer/internet thing.... I just needed a small break and I am feeling much better for it. So back to the blogging etc,

I have made two slings this week which is great, one for a young mum here in town and one for the Lactation consultant at the hospital. I have also picked up my sewing machine from getting serviced and its just beautiful to sew with, it was strange I started sewing with it and immediately thought of Mum, it was really neat. The sewing machine is identical to Mums, so I was really comfortable with using it as I have used Mums many times.

D

6 months old today

Miss N is 6 months old today, shes amazing and has been a huge blessing in our lives, I wasn't sure when I got pregnant that I was ready for another baby but I feel like she was meant to be, and has helped bring us back together as a family after living apart for 12 months when I was unwell.

Shes just amazing, really relaxed and easy to look after, I really do feel lucky to have her in our lives.

Our other three children are amazing too, I really am blessed that I have four amazing children, they are all healthy, intelligent, beautiful caring children, which is all that I could ask for as a parent.

facebook page

I have made a Facebook page for my business, please go "like" it, I have also started a shop at felt, which will be up and running in a few days time, I am looking at Etsy too as another option, but I am also thinking about getting a friend to design a site for me too. I have made up some flyers which I will print later today, and I have got my business cards now too....

D

Sling sales/marketing

OK, I need some help people... I have made a flyer which I am going to distribute around town, but I need some other ideas on how to launch this wee business of mine. I have tried Trademe with little success, I have wondered about using Felt

Any ideas would be much appreciated....
love D

our carbon footprint

we just worked out our families carbon footprint, its 4700kg CO2-e for our whole family, (according to the landcare calculator) the average per person in NZ is 7300kg CO2-e ( according to wikipedia), it seems that ours is very low, possibly due to us only having one car and Ben using his bike to get to work. We recycle, we only use electricity for heating and have a very efficient heat pump, some of it may also be that we do not travel very far at the moment either.

So now that we have worked that out our next goal is to reduce our carbon footprint by 10% for the coming year.... I am thinking about how we can do that, using our car less will help, as would getting is serviced and possibly a tune up to make it more efficient in its petrol consumption. Ben will need to keep biking to work, and the kids and I might need to start walking to more places that we visit.

Its cool though to see what we use and how we can make a change.

D

Environmental Film Festival Gala

It was amazing, they showed bits of some of the films that are going to be shown, it was amazing and made me think about what I could do to help climate change. Robyn Malcolm was the MC and she was hilarious, made jokes about being Gerry Brownlee in Disguise trying to win back votes and made poignant comments about some of the films.

Here is something simple that any one can do too.... sign up to 10:10global and reduce your own carbon emissions by 10% this year.

It was awesome to have a night out without our children and it was nice to see how people are taking things into their own hands to improve our environment.

The Black Seeds played and they are very cool, a mix of all sorts of music and based in Wellington, I would definitely recommend getting hold of some of their music to listen too.

There were a couple of films that I would really like to see but at $12 -14 a session I might not get to many, one was about The Kakapo, another was about the tuatara at Invercargill museum, one that looked really good was called "A simple question" about how a simple question about endangered species led to an environmental movement that had included over 20000 students and 700 teachers in America.

It was very cool and was really nice to go on a date with my gorgeous husband.

D

noise is making me insane

I don't know why but the noise of these kids is really getting to me, might be because its just me at home, but I think its because they are just being really really loud, and fighting with each other..... I was hoping for a slightly relaxing day getting stuff done around here instead I am playing constant referee amongst these kids or telling them to stop doing things etc.

We are going out tonight so I was hoping to get some time to do some work on myself... just basics like having a shower without being interrupted and making sure that my hair doesn't look like I have been dragged through a gorse bush backwards, instead I have to play referee. I still need to express some more milk too, have done around 100mls but I don't think that will be enough so after her next feed I will try to express some more for her as I don't want her to be hungry if she wakes while we are out.

D

blogging daily

I actually started my budget blog yesterday afternoon, and thought I would finish it last night an publish it, instead I fell asleep around 7pm with my miss N while I fed her. I feel better today for having had a good sleep though so that is good.

love d

government budget... big fail

I will admit before you read any further that I am a Labour party member so I am not likely to be unbiased in my reaction to the budget.

To put it bluntly we will probably be worse off from it, as per usual with a Tory government middle income earners with children will not be any better off, we nay be getting a tax cut, but G.S.T is going up and there is a big cut to early childhood funding, and to health care as well.... its more of the same, more money for the rich and life gets harder for average kiwis trying to get ahead.

I am not going to be able to sit quietly and watch Early childhood education decrease for those children that need it, I am not going to sit quietly and watch health outcomes decrease for those that need it, Children have the least voice politically yet they will be one of the biggest groups impacted by this budget.

For those without children in ECE then the tax cuts will possibly help them, but I wait to see how it can help us if we have to pay more for our children to attend our local kindy. ECE is not a luxury item... it is something that leads to better children in our classes, it is important for our kids and to have a high standard through having well trained teachers is necessary. The centres that have been hit the hardest through the budget are those that have 80-100% fully qualified teachers, the better level of educated staff, the ones we should be promoting as doing a great job for the kids they look after, instead they are going to lose at least 60cents per hour funding per child, and those costs will need to be passed on to the parents.

To Mr English I give your budget a big huge F....

Cross country and a general update

miss K had her cross country at school this morning, she was a respectable 28 out of about 50 girls, so I am pretty happy for her, not first and not last.

Unfortunately this being Palmerston North it decided to start drizzling after her group came in so the next groups of kids all ran in the drizzle, we decided to come home to our nice warm house instead. The kindy kids came over and watched too, its really awesome that school and kindy share these events, the kindy kids become spectators and see what things are happening at school, and see their bigger friends doing things, and the school kids have their wee siblings there to cheer for them.

L starts smart start on the 21st of June, its a program that school runs where those kids that are due to start school in the next term go to school on a Monday afternoon to see how things are done and get used to time there, this is as well as the school visits that they do too. I think its a great idea and will be good for the transition from kindy to school. K didn't do it as we were still in Oamaru when she was ready to do school visits,

Its neat watching L become more confident and ready to start school, wow in a couple of months I will have 2 children at school.

Miss K is doing great at school too, shes really blossoming this year, her teacher is very caring which I think helps too, K did an awesome job at her school assembly last week and I was very proud of how well she spoke and how clear and articulate she was.

Our two littlies are doing great too, Mr O is nearly fully toilet trained which is awesome and saving some $$ with only night time nappies, hes started talking a lot more lately too which is nice. Miss N is 6 months next week, shes started sitting by herself for short periods which is cool, shes very awesome and I am still really enjoying having her in our family

love D

new machine

yippy, I am getting a new to me sewing machine... its a Pfaff creative 1471, identical to my Mum's, its very exciting, and hopefully it will arrive tomorrow. Its got some neat features like dual feed which means that both the top and bottom layers of fabric thread through at the same pace, so no more puckered seams, yippy.

Its also got needle down which will be useful for sewing long seams and corners as I will not have to manually put the needle into the fabric to pivot for corners. I am really excited about having a computerised machine too, it will be neat to challenge my skills a bit more.

so yay for new machines and yay to lovely parents who are helping me to purchase it.

D

I didnt forget....

I just wasn't in the mood to blog, I didn't feel like I had anything worth saying so I didn't say anything at all, and maybe it was also that I felt disheartened when I looked at my blog pages and never see any comments, yeah there are some occasionally but I felt a bit sad that there often are not...

Anyway I am back... and I am typing away about nothing in particular, I went to Breastfeeding support group today, its awesome, its neat to feel like I can help other mums to do something that was so difficult for me when I had K, it was a bit easier with L, and with O and N, its been a breeze. Its also become a baby wearing group, we play with slings and how to wear them etc, tomorrow I am going to make some wrap slings, they are great for carrying little babies or for when bubs isn't being too interested in the world, most of the time though I prefer my ring sling.

Its nice to go to a group where there is no competition that "my baby can do this" sort of thing that I have hated about other groups, our babies are different ages but we are all there because we breastfeed and like the support we get. One of the lactation consultants from the hospital also comes which is awesome, we can ask all kinds of questions and get lots of help. She was a huge help to me with K when I was terrified of feeding because of the pain etc.

love D

Going out

Next Saturday night (the 22nd) we are going out on a date, wow a real date... like adults do who do not have 4 kids..... we have a babysitter, I am going to leave some milk in the fridge for Miss N and we are going out.

Ben has bought tickets to the Gala night for the Environmental film festival, its going to be really nice and I am quite excited about it, so then my thoughts have turned to what to wear lol.

I have a nice dress that I made when I was pregnant with Linnea, its black with a sparkly pattern, very cute but a bit big, so Alana and I are going to take it in a bit, and I am going to buy a funky belt to wear with it,

I have also decided to be adventurous and wear heels... I normally cope with a small one but have decided that I want to wear something a bit higher, this could end up badly but I am going to go shopping this afternoon and see what I can find.

D

a proper post today

my last two posts have been little and not very substantial, so this morning I will endeavor to write something a bit better.

I am thinking about my sling business, I am not very sure what to do next, I am having issues with my sewing machine and will need to upgrade but at what cost, do I buy a machine that will be ok, but is second hand or do I get a brand new one that will last for ages? its also a question of cost, I might be able to get something secondhand but most of the good ones I have seen are still 10years or older and over $1000, or do I get a new one at a cost of $2-3000 that will last me for a good 20 years if I look after it. It is falling into the too hard basket at the moment though.

I have sent the four I made to Nelson to Ecomoon and am looking forward to seeing how they go. I am wondering about either selling some through Felt, as I have found Trademe is not as successful for it as I would have liked.

I am quite nervous about the whole thing, its a bit like having a baby you start something and you do not really know where it will take you, I am enjoying the adventure though and the thought of being able to do this and still be at home with my children.

D

its the middle of the night

and baby girl woke up, i thought she wanted a feed so offered one, but no.. she screamed instead, she did this last night too so back to bed shes gone, not impressed at all.

So I have to teach her now to just go back to sleep.... and I need to do the same but her crying doesn't not make that easy, she is asleep now so off I go.

finished

the slings are done, I just have to iron them and make the instruction sheets, yippy.

I remembered 5 minutes ago that I had not blogged today so thought I had better do it before bed... so yay have done it, am worn out, I have sewn 4 slings in 3 days so I need to sleep. night all

making like mad

I have spent the last two days sewing.... and the end is in sight, I have three slings nearly completed with a fourth not much behind it.... yay.

I am really nervous about it and hope that I have chosen nice colour combination's. I have added a pic above so any comments would be great. All four slings are made from easy wearing fabrics, they are all either cotton or linen mixes. The first one is orange stripe lining and a retro floral and spot cotton, the second is navy spot with magenta ribbon and rings with a denim coloured lining, the third is blue linen and a contrasting stripe lining with grey ribbon, and the fourth is green and cream linen stripe with a chocolate lining and green ribbon

love D

Black Bow design is off the ground

I have launched myself into a new world.... I have created a facebook page for my business..... and its all go, I am also making slings to be stocked at Ecomoon in Nelson.

wow, its all exciting and very new to me, but I am doing it yay

sleep in...... gone

I am grumpy its just after 8am and I am up, I do not want to be up, I want to be curled up asleep in my nice warm bed, but when four kids are in it being noisy its not peaceful at all, so I got up and am sitting in front of the computer instead.

Saturday is my sleep in morning, Ben has been working Sundays on his Phd so I figure that I am allowed a small luxury of a bit of sleep on a Saturday, well its not happening this morning is it.

O is mucking around near me now, and the girls and Ben are still cuddled up in our bed, yep I am grumpy, maybe I will crawl into one of the kids beds for a while and have a bit more of a snooze, but now I am up I suppose I might as well stay up, we are out of milk so one of us will have to go get that too..... probably me.

A blog a day

I have set myself a small challenge of blogging everyday till Queens birthday weekend. It will hopefully help me get through the next wee while with some sanity (I hope).

I am not at all sure what I will write about but I am going to do it.... So today is day 4 of the blogging daily, so far so good. I am planning on doing some sewing today, I want to finish making a sleeping bag for miss N and I want to start another sling.........

D

birth options

I like reading about birth, about other countries maternity systems, I find it all very interesting, I read this blog today and was interested in the controversial way it was written ....

As women we sometimes lose sight of what our bodies are capable of doing, and we make excuses to use interventions to make it all right.... anyway read the link and see what you think....

my response is here too...

wow, that is so true for so many woman I know, I did birth naturally for all my 4 babies, I had gas for the last one as she was facing the wrong way and needed to turn to come out the right way, posterior I think is the word.

I had awesome labours no longer than 3 hours yet I have been made to feel guilty that my body was able to do it…. that guilt stuck around for a while, now I embrace it that I can birth babies…. people only think of the birth, yeah my births were great, the pph after my first daughter, the retained placenta, the trip to theatre, the iugr baby, the neonates experience, the mastitis at day 7 aren't thought about by others cos I have ” easy” births…… I hate the competition, I hate the lack of trust by so many that they cant do it…..

D

International Midwife Day

I have been lucky to have had one particularly awesome midwife for my last baby, she was fantastic and I am really pleased that I had her. My other midwives were pretty fantastic too.... the system here although it has some flaws allows for woman to choose who their main carer is during their pregnancy and for the first 5 weeks after the birth.

Our midwives that we had were all amazing, we had great births and great care from there. So today I just want to say a huge thank you to these woman who went above and beyond for us when we needed them.....

Midwives rock

a most awesome may the 4th be with you day

I have had the most awesome day, I have been spoiled by my family and friends and that has made it my best birthday in a long time. I have for the past few years hated my birthday, its 6 years today since my Grandma died so its been tinged with sadness, but today I celebrated and loved my day.

My fabulous children and their Nanny threw me a party this afternoon, it was a kids party complete with cake, balloons, streamers, presents, jelly, lollies (sweets) chips etc, even cheerio sausages..... I loved it, the kids were buzzing all day and they made me go out for an hour so that they could do this for me.

Miss K has learned the German birthday song and she sung it with her Papa this morning, it was so very cool, the first time she has sung in German. Mr O has been walking around singing "to you, to you, to mama, to you" which is just as cute.

I got some lovely presents, ( the necklace I am wearing in the photo was one of them) flowers from good friends, and have been out to our fave cafe for tea. The kids gave me a European Charm bracelet and Ben has bought us tickets to the opening night Gala for the upcoming environmental film festival, so I am feeling totally loved and absolutely spoiled this year.

So May the Fourth be with you all too......

Board of Trustees

We have a good system here that parents are on the board that makes decisions about how your childs school is run. The nominations closed today for the next three year term and I have put my name forward.

I am now feeling nervous, there are 5 positions at our school and ten people have been nominated, 2 of whom are currently on the board. I havent done anything like this since the early 00's when I was on the NZLP council, but I am sure that I have grown since then and will be able to cope if I get elected or if I dont.

The voting papers are sent out on Monday and then the nervous wait begins......

School Uniform

Yay, it arrived yesterday so today Miss K wore it for the first time, I think she looks very cute in it.

busy girl

we are having one of those weeks, you know the type when you decide to take on a huge project and you get to Thursday and feel absolutely knackered.... well our big project has been great fun.....

When we shifted into our house last June we stripped the wallpaper and planned to re paper the room, well that didn't happen until this week... its not finished yet but only 1 wall to go, yay.

Two of my awesome friends have been helping and we decided to do some demolition work at the same time, we have pulled the cupboards out of the middle of the kitchen, it was old, dated, tired and needed to come out, so we did it.... photos to prove it above.

So now we have to paint the kitchen too so that it looks good. Its great though and neat to get something done to the house for once. D

trying a different way of selling slings.

I are not 100% about this but I have listed one of my slings on trademe, its for one to be designed and made for the person who purchases it, its also a way to see what sort of market there is for them.... so if you want to buy one please bid..... love D

school holidays

yep, its the last day of the school holidays, yippee, I love having my kids at home and they needed the break but I also love term time and the routine etc that comes with it. The kids and I got our haircut today, just so they are tidy again for kindy and school, and we were going to have Miss K's uniform all sorted for her for Monday, but Postie plus put paid to that idea. They are the suppliers for our uniforms which we were supposed to be able to by for the start of this term. Well the Polo shirts are not available till the 26th of April, one week into the term, I am not very impressed as they have known for sometime that the shirts were needed to start the term.

I am also unimpressed that they carry very little of our uniform size wise as well, I have had to order the polar fleece because they were sold out of the size I wanted.... overall I am so far unhappy with the whole experience.

K has been doing a holiday programme through Run rig she has loved it, Ben has been unsure about her doing a christian one, but no other groups offer this sort of thing for free and I have to say I think its been really good for her and her understanding of God etc.

WE had an awesome trip last Friday to Wellington, we took the kids to the Zoo, they absolutely loved the whole day, and did argue or anything all day which was great seeing it was such a long day for them all.

So its been a pretty good holidays, I have done some sewing and we have just hung out with friends etc.

D

OK Go

I love the video that they did on the treadmills, well I found this clip on Wanda harlands blog, what a cool clip.....

creating is good.....

I have been on a sewing buzz for the last two weeks, I have made 4 baby slings, 2 dresses for me, some skinny jeans for the girls, a merino top for Ben and one the same for the wee boy.... I also have three skirts cut out as well....

I am really enjoying sewing and have been using fabric out of my stash which is great. I especially am liking sewing merino, its a delicious fabric to work with, it has natural stretch, and its just so easy to sew.

I am planning on challenging myself soon, I have seen some hot pink wool fabric and I could see it making a beautiful knee length coat, so I have decided that I want to get some and try to make a tailored coat, it will mean learning some new skills which will be really good for me.

Its really nice that the girls like that I make them clothes, I remember loving it when Mum and Grandma made us new clothes, we used to get a couple of complete outfits each season which was very exciting. I aren't quite up to that level yet but its nice to be able to make them clothes, and for less than I could buy them. for example I paid $18 for 1.8m of denim, out of that I got a skirt for K and I, a pair of skinny jeans for K and a pair for N, not bad really, 4 items for $18 plus the time it takes me to sew them.

So I am enjoying the value of sewing for our family and the enjoyment of getting compliments on what I make.

D

Black bow designs

I have started creating things for other people, I am unsure whether I want to go far with this and am trying to work out the tax implications of having my own wee business making baby slings and other baby/mummy related stuff.

I have made two baby slings this week, and the new owners love them, one is a ring sling the other a pouch sling, both were relatively easy to make and I enjoyed it, I also made a new ring one for Miss N and I to use, we love it.

I also made myself a dress that is breastfeeding friendly, I absolutely love it, its warm (merino) and stylish and I can easily and discreetly feed our wee girl wearing it.

So what do I do, continue with this and set up a wee business that's all legitimate, or do the under the table thing and hope that I don't get caught, I am leaning towards keeping all my receipts and running a receipt book and keeping 20% of my income aside for tax purposes just in case.

D

had a nice break

It was great, more of a facebook and Trademe detox but it was so what I needed to do, I am also planning on doing a bit of a friend cull on facebook, I just have too many acquaintances on there and would rather have it a bit more intimate if possible. So if you don't make the cut I am sorry, but its something that I really do need to do.

I have been doing some sewing, mainly baby slings and clothes, and I have my first order to make a baby sling, which is very exciting, might make up a flyer for at the maternity places around town, I think I will look at making up a wee book with the different carries on it too. I would love to see a sling library started up for Palmerston North, there is an awesome one in Auckland which would be very cool to have similar here.

D

internet detox

I am an internet addict, but from today I am going to have the next week internet free. I will check email but that is it, I just need some time to clear my head and to do some stuff around here.

so I will see you all on the other side

further on the ethics question

I found this article tonight on the egg raffle...

88% woman

I found a link for gender analysis of blogs... apparently I am 88% likely to be a woman writer.

Ethical question.......

A fertility clinic in London is holding a raffle of donor eggs for older women who want to be mums... the winner will go to the USA for treatment to try to get pregnant.

The furore seems to be over whether women should be allowed to sell their eggs. Egg donation is not easy, its painful and time consuming, so should there be a financial gain for the woman doing it?

I have thought about egg donation now that my family is finished, I don't need the ones I have left, so if I could help someone else I possibly would, to me its just genetic material, its not a baby, its the possibility of a baby.

Which leads to the question though, is it OK to sell your eggs? Or would it lead to a black market for eggs? As infertility levels rise could this be an option for increasing egg donation, or would it lead to less scrupulous woman doing it just for the money.

I would love to know what others think about this.

D

Silent house

this rather strange phenomena is happening at the moment, I actually sometimes have a silent house, the kids are either sleeping or doing various activities and I get silent time, its amazing, and I think will become something that I treasure amongst the chaos that is having 4 kids under 7.

So instead of sitting here I am going to use my current quiet time to do some sewing, I have a couple of merino dresses that I want to get made up, the weather here is getting cooler so I want to be prepared for it.

D

looking good, feeling great

I am feeling good, I have lost 3kg since the start of the year, and am very proud of myself, I am now at the lightest I have been since the around 2000. I am also feeling happy with life which is great.

finding friends again

During my last pregnancy I retreated into a shell, and did not make a lot of effort with my friends and I regret that, so I have decided that I am going to make time for friendships and the people that I care about, I am going to enjoy my life and our friends and the warmth that that brings with it. I have been spending more time with some of my female friends and its been so nice, I am definitely going to make more time for them and stop getting so caught up with me....

I am also hoping to have a weekend away doing political stuff, I just have to organise some help for Benjamin that weekend so he can still go to work one of the days. I will take miss N with me, shes a great wee baby so shouldn't be too much of a problem.

So too all my friends who put up with me last year, I am thankful that you stuck around. love D

International Womens Day

Just wanted to say thank you to all the fabulous women in my life, esp my Mum and sister, you are two of my rocks who help me through life, I love you both.

managing on my own

I am having to learn some new skills at the moment which are testing my patience at times, its called being happy with parenting alone in the weekends....

This may seem rather random, but I am finding it is getting easier each day that I do it, its not as scary as it once was, I think some of it is just getting on with life and realising that the PhD needs finished and until it is I have to just get on with parenting alone most weekends.

I am actually quite pleased with how I went today, I managed to cook a nice meal, have the kids all in bed by 8pm, do some washing, go for a walk, do a triathlon (albeit a very small one), so yes I am feeling good about this so far. Just to keep being OK with it I think will be my main goal, and to know that yes I can do this and I am a good mum who can cope.

It also gives me more respect for Mums who do this all the time, I am lucky I have a nanny (for a few more weeks) and a Husband who helps raise our four children

down under feminist carnival

the 22nd carnival is up, and I have my political involvement piece in it, yay for me click here to go to the carnival and read all kinds of writing by feminists.

political inactivity

As a Sahm with four children I am finding it hard to be as politically active as I once was, I wonder if some of this is because of the way political parties are geared more towards people who work or if its just that having children means that they are my priority?

I am finding it strange being this uninvolved with political happenings that used to be hugely important to me, I am disconnected from most of the Labour party because I arent attending meeting and are not really using the social network for keeping in the loop... it made me start wondering about political organisation and women in general.

Women are not well represented in most elected positions in our country, some of this is that they are not shoulder tapped and asked to stand and parts of it are that they just dont have the time because they are doing everything else.

I managed to stay active when I had my first baby, with number 2 I was still in the loop as well, but with 3 and 4 I have drifted further from it, some of it is to do with meeting times and some because I am too busy keeping our house running....

It saddens me that I am so distant from something that is still a huge passion for me, and that the opportunities to interact are limited in some ways....

I think I need to find new ways to keep my political involvement in the Labour party and in society in general. I wonder if Mums voices are heard very often at all? Probably not because we don't always have time or we feel that we are not listened too or valued as part of society, I would love to know what other people think about this.

D

Absentee blogger

Hi all, I have got my parents here at the moment so barely get to come and blog. Its been a year now since we had our pregnancy loss... and heaps has happened since then, the week of the year anniversary was really hard, I found myself thinking about it all a lot, I am ok with it but it was hard.

I also realise that it was meant to be, and that N was to be our 4th child, shes absolutely awesome, shes three months this week and is a huge delight to us all.

We have been busy doing kids triathlons, the two big girls are doing really well and have had their photos in the local papers 3 times because of it. I managed to do a small triathlon on Valentines day which was a huge thing for me, I haven't done a tri since early last year because of pregnancy etc so it was neat to achieve something like that again.

Its great having Mum and Dad up for a while, they were here for a week, then did car rallies then came back to us for this week, the kids think its great and they are loving having the summer car here too.

so thats pretty much all thats going on at the moment, I will try to become a more regular writer again soon.

D

doing well then crash

I have been doing really well at getting some fitness back up and walking properly again, N is 9 weeks so its been that long since I stopped using crutches, I had been walking up to 2.4km again but dammit its all stopped.....

I was doing the edges of the lawn and I have over extended my leg a bit too much I think and today I am waddling again and in quite a bit of pain... am so gutted, might have to try swimming this week instead for fitness.

I have managed to lose some weight though which is good, and hence the frustration at not being very mobile today.

D

12th Wedding Anniversary

We celebrated our 12th wedding anniversary yesterday, I am left wondering where all that time has gone, but its been an amazing time with many exciting journeys that we have taken together.

To celebrate we went and saw Avatar, and went out for dinner, it was great and we were child free, two awesome friends helped by looking after our babies for us.... it was very strange though not having bubs with me as I aren't apart from her very often.

Avatar was amazing, we didn't get to see it in 3d as thats only available in the main centres, but it was still awesome and I don't think I blinked the whole time, we went to Speights ale house for dinner which was very nice too.

I feel really lucky to have reached 12 years of marriage as we were quite young when we got married, but we have got here and I wonder what the next 12 years will bring, by then we will have nearly all teenage children in the house, K will have just finished high school and N will be 12. Its an exciting journey and one that I certainly don't want to miss.

D

Slack blogger

Sorry I haven't been blogging lately, I have been too tired and too busy, Its school holidays and having four kids takes up lots of time :) not that its a bad thing it just means that blogging isn't important at the moment.

N is 7 weeks now, she is just lovely, she smiles and is beginning to make neat noises other than crying, the girls are great with her, K even changes nappies which is very cool. O isn't so sure about her but calls her baby and gives her hugs and kisses.

Ben is spending a lot of time writing his PhD, I am over it at the moment and just want to see the damn thing finished, I am sure it will be worth it once its done but at the moment its just hard slog for him and tiring for both of us.

I have managed to start riding my bike again, I can do 5km in around 15 minutes which is good, I am wanting to get up to 20km to do the tour de manawatu later this year, The two big girls did their first triathlon of the season on Sunday, it was great, a friends 15 year old did it with L and I did it with K, I wasn't able to walk/run with her so I biked beside her instead (my hips are still too sore for walking far, biking is easier as its a lot lower impact)

My weight loss plan for the year is still happening, I haven't gained any extra which is good, just need to drink more water and keep up the exercise.

D

Happy New year..... 2010 is here

I can remember seeing in the start of the millennium with two of my fave fellas listening to Dave Dobbyn playing in Hagley park with heaps of other cantabs. It was awesome, we were seeing in the new millennium and it was going to be huge....

Well its now 10 years in and in that time I graduated from University, completed a graduate diploma in teaching and learning, shifted from Christchurch to Palmerston North, we bought our first house and most importantly we became parents to four fabulous children that bring us huge amounts of happiness. I have also had two serious bouts of depression the second one meant that I lived with our children in Oamaru with my parents for a year, and have recovered from both to be a productive member of my family again. We have been politically active in the Labour party, I have held a position on New Zealand Council of the party and Ben has been a very active member of the environmental policy committee.

Ben has started and nearly completed his PhD. Its taken over 5 years so far and hes hoping to be finished in February. Its going to be a stressful 9 weeks or so as hes only able to do it in his spare time.

I don't really know what the next ten years will bring, but by this time in 2020 we will have two teenage girls, our youngest child will be 10. I will hopefully be working again in some capacity as something, but at the moment I aren't really sure what. Its all an adventure just waiting for us really.

But at the moment I am thinking of what I want to achieve in 2010, my first goal is to maintain my mental health, I am doing ok, and I want to stay this way, I also want to improve my physical health, I am many kg overweight and I plan to lose 10kg of that this year, its not a huge goal but will take me some time and dedication to do it. I want to be able to keep up better with the children too, so I am hoping to increase my fitness. I want to sew more clothes for the kids, and I want to continue breastfeeding N till she turns 1 at least.

Miss L will start school this year and O will start afternoon kindy too. I would like to get our living room wallpapered and maybe do up one of the children's rooms or the kitchen.

I aren't sure that I will be politically active, but then it depends on if a decent left wing candidate goes for the mayoralty, then I may do something, I still want to do triathlons, and want to be able to run a bit further than I currently am able.

Overall I am hoping that 2010 is a good year for my family and friends and that we all enjoy some success at whatever our goals are.

D