decision made

I came up with a compromise on Tuesday, miss K and I will go with my Midwife to have a look around delivery suite next week so she knows where Ben and I will be, we can show her things and let her see for herself that we are going to be ok.

I have decided that as much as I love her and think she could handle it that I dont want her to see me in that position so she can stay home and come up as soon as bubs is born. Ben has decided that he is going to deliver the baby with some guidance from our midwife so neither of us would be able to give her support either so to me its best that she stays at home.

I am excited that Ben wants to be so involved this time, it was hard to get him to even cut the cord with K, so its really neat that he wants to help birth this baby. We got to play with a plastic pelvis and a baby doll to see how it will all work etc.

Bubs is still sitting really low, my hips are getting worse and I have insomnia as well which isnt helping... we had our midwife visit yesterday and we are now down to weekly ones until bubs is born which is very cool. its only 26 sleeps now till due date, and we are hoping that we dont get there, my midwife said that the dates are a week out anyway so it hopefully wont happen. D

decision to make

Miss K was awake last night so laying in bed with me and she asked if she can be there when the baby is born, she wants to know how it all works etc, Ben has said its my decision to make and I am torn in many directions over it.

In some ways I would like to have her there to witness the birth etc and maybe so that she doesn't go into adulthood fearing birth, but I also don't want her to see me in pain, I wont be having any pain relief unless absolutely necessary so it can get a bit intense. I was wondering if maybe I let her on the terms that she has a support person that she can talk to etc and leave if she wants, my sister will be here the week bubs is due so could possibly do that job.

I am really quite conflicted on this and would love some advise.


I am from Southland....

last night Southland won the Ranfurly Shield for the first time in 50 yrs... this is fabulous, it wasn't a great game of rugby but we won so I am celebrating.

Southland is one of the provinces of NZ and we are often hassled for the way we speak, Southlanders have a tendency to roll our RRRRRs, which means we have a more Scottish accent than other NZers. I still roll my rrr's and I haven't lived in Southland since I was 17, I love though that my wee girls do and they have never lived there at all, but a year living with Grandma and Grandad saw that they have a good accent.

Southland is the southern most province in NZ, it was settled by Scots, so many names down there have Scottish origins, Its the gateway to the natural beauty of Fiordland and to Stewart Island. I miss it, but know that I will never live down there again.

Last night my facebook page had updates from all over the place from Ex pat southlanders celebrating our victory, it was fabulous to see, and quite neat to see how many of my friends are still southlanders at heart. Obviously we can move away but home is still special.


feeling flat

I have finally got the babies cradle made up, and got nappies, but am feeling really flat the last two days, cant really explain why, some of its that this is the last time we will get ready for a baby, and some is that it still feels like just over a month is forever. Its not helping that I slept really badly last night either, my hips are very painful and I am avoiding walking very far.

I think it also doesnt help that I am still under the back up midwife till next week and I havent clicked that well with her so dont want to text her over anything thats niggling at me.

oh well maybe tomorrow will be better. D

absolutely knackered

I am stuffed, have been busy nesting all weekend, you can finally see our bedroom floor, and I have all the baby clothes sitting in their drawers waiting. I have packed my labour bag, and my hospital bag, have chosen a coming home outfit for bubs and packed it.

Now all I need is a baby... oh and some nappies, I don't think 3 disposables are going to do much.

its feeling really good to have this all done, I have also sorted out all my clothing, and ditched 10 pairs of shoes and a huge bag of clothes, could be a bit more ruthless yet but hey its a start.

next on the list to do is get the girls and O's stuff sorted out, It felt really good to do mine, so I just have to get into their rooms and do it.

Bubs needs to stay put till the 28th which is when my Midwife is back, anytime after that its welcome. And I will be ready for him/her.

So yay for feeling knackered from nesting, I can rest a bit once its all done :)

funny pic that made me giggle

this was on an email I got, its so funny, or maybe its just my sad hormonal sense of humour lol.

41 days to go

We had the back up midwife today which was good, its good to know who might be delivering bubs if mine isnt available.

Bubs is 4/5ths engaged, still facing my right hip, and measuring 2 weeks ahead. I washed all our baby clothes yesterday, and have decided that we have far too many but thats ok, I am sure I can find a home for what I dont need.

I am feeling tired but thats ok, its just getting used to being awake every 4 hrs that will take a few days, I am hoping to have everything sorted by the time I get to 36 weeks so that I dont have to do anything after that, I just need to get nappies for bubs, and stuff for my maternity bag and some pj pants etc.


yay, Baby has a name

We finally agreed on names for bubs last night, We have had our girls name all along which is Natalya Kerenza, Natalya is a name we like and Kerenza is a Cornish name that has a similar meaning to my name.

I had a really vivid dream on Saturday night that Paula handed the baby to me and we called him Matthias Rata, I told Ben about this last night and he was said he really liked that name, so we have agreed on it. Matthias is German for Matthew, and Rata is a native NZ Tree that we both really like.

So yay the dilemma is solved and we can start getting things ready, only 42 days till due date, so I need to start sorting out baby clothes etc.


I have survived

I knew I would, I just didn't particularly want to have to. The kids have been pretty good, no huge meltdowns from them or me, O had a small one at church but it was more that he was bored than from anything else.

I let Miss K sleep with me last night which was nice, it was like having an electric blanket on all night, no wonder she biffs her duvet off to go to sleep.

They are all settled and in bed for the night which is nice, so its just me and bump sitting here in the silence. Bump is trying to see if my ribs will stretch any further and if my bladder makes a goo trampoline, its quite strange in some ways you just see these random movements under my tshirt, and it does make you wonder whats going on in there.

Its quite funny see other peoples reactions to it too, I was out at a friends this afternoon and bubs was moving about and she was like oh its an alien... maybe I should wear looser tops lol so its not so conspicuous.

School holidays finished today, its been a pity that the weather has been so gross, we have only managed a couple of trips to the park because its been so yucky. the girls seem to be looking forward to going back though, possibly more that they can see their friends than the actual place.


yucky weekend

I don't want this weekend to come, firstly the weather at the moment is absolutely disgusting its windy and pouring with rain which means the kids will be housebound if it continues... my other reason is a bit more selfish

Ben is going to Wellington to do a communication course at Landmark, its great that he wants to do this, but I am feeling huge, have a chest infection and just plain don't want to be home alone with the three kids for the weekend.

So I am being a grump about it all... I want him to do these sorts of things, I just aren't feeling very good about it at the moment, I am sure that I will be fine with the kids, just got to keep to routine and have them in bed at a good time.


bump circa 33 weeks

I am 33 weeks tomorrow, so not long to go now, just thought I would post a couple of pics, I measured myself in the weekend and am 10cm bigger than last measuring and 30cm bigger than when I got pregnant, so bump is a lot bigger than I think at times.

I am finding things a bit harder to do, like bending over, or getting up off the ground, having our own Mary Poppins is making it easier, I can barely carry O at the moment which is frustrating but its not long now and we will be looking after a new wee person.

On the name front I have decided to stop looking for a boys name for a while, its just really getting to me so have decided to take a break from it all.

anyway need some sleep


feeling tired

tonight I feel knackered, I am so tired, I had a good sleep last night but I just feel worn out this evening. I have had a busy last two days though so maybe some of it is just that I have done a bit more than normal.

Today I took Miss L out to get her kindy and good sandals for summer, we also went to a cafe for lunch and to visit her godmother, it was nice and I managed to do some of it without crutches, which was nice, made me feel good to be able to move without them.

I did the same yesterday with Miss K, but we went to BK for food, and to the Midwife as well, its been nice having that one on one time that I dont always get with my girls, its one of the downfalls I have found in having 3 children. I get lots of O time, but very little with K esp during term time, I might have to start making more of an effort, but we do go to girls brigade together which is her and my thing at the moment.

anyway feeling zapped, early night for me

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