questioning faith

I am not sure if its my faith that I am questioning or the lack of sense of belonging at the church I currently attend.. I have been feeling like this since I shifted back from Oamaru, a sense of dislocation from the community of my church and just not really feeling like I fit in... So next year I am going to see what else there is out there... I aren't 100% sure what I am looking for but I want to be happy in my choice.

I sometime wonder about my extended family too... I am a Labour supporter and quite open about it, I just wonder if I fit at all... some of it comes from having gone to uni, and I am not saying I am better than anyone, it just gives you a different outlook on life, some of it is political that my stance is different, and some is just that I have never really fitted in.

My parents are lefties too, so was my Grandma, I use to have awesome conversations with her about politics and who to vote for, she loved MMP, she lived in Wigram and could vote for Jim Anderton and vote Labour, best of both worlds she thought. I am just feeling a bit lost in a few ways and when that's happening its so easy to just question everything around you.


Anonymous said...
December 9, 2010 at 10:58 AM

Feel you on the church thing, I was feeling like that just before we moved cities, I think being in such a big church so getting lost when I needed help and support didn't help matters. Starting the church hunt down here soon, hoping to find somewhere to settle that really fits.

Thinking of you!

Demelza said...
December 9, 2010 at 11:54 AM

our church isnt big, I just feel lost there, think my anxiety levels are quite high when I am there and thats not a good thing... there are some unresolved issues from a couple of years ago that just bother me that I need to move on from too

SarahT said...
December 9, 2010 at 12:34 PM

I know what you mean about not feeling like you belong in a church. Having worked in our church office now for 4 years, sometimes I feel like people don't see me for anything other than the Parish Administrator and not for me. I now have very defined boundaries about stuff like that.

Anyway, what I was going to say was is there anyone at the church who you could talk to, maybe a women's and families pastor. There could be some groups you could get into with the kids, thinking mainly music with O & N.

It can be tough finding a church that really suits, ours is pretty amazing (but I'm biased).

Genevieve, where have you moved to?

If you do need to talk, flick me an email. I think you have my address.
Love ya.

Bobbie Pene said...
December 9, 2010 at 1:08 PM

I can't imagine how you feel at the moment......lost. I don't believe in religion so haven't attended a church. My faith is within me and I feel at ease with my own company. I have never really felt the need to "fit in". I am a social person and like to interact with others, but enjoy my own company too. I'm an academic and have spent the bigger part of my life studying at University and as a result I think my political stances are very diplomatic.

I do hope you find a sense of self and belonging soon.

Demelza said...
December 9, 2010 at 2:23 PM

hiya, thanks everyone, @Sarah, its a small church and our vicar is leaving so the next one will be presbyterian, and there isnt anyone I could talk to about the issues I have....

@bobbie Pene, thanks, I think I have just hit a patch where its very obvious to me how different I am to some of my family... some like Sarah above are awesome, some are just totaly opposite in everything,

I am hoping that the break at my parents over Christmas will help, not that its a family holiday as Ben will be in Chch for nearly all of it writing.

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