I am feeling a bit better physically than I did earlier this week. Another trip to A and E last night helped, was in immense pain, caused by lack of motions that are essential.... they gave me some better pain relief too which helps.
I have huge bruises on my tummy and three little incisions, I also have a small burn blister that I cant explain. I have had a couple of hours sleep each day which has helped too.
My mental place is a bit more fuzzy, I am grieving but not sure what for in some ways, yes a lost embryo, but I didn't know I was pregnant so I don't feel like I have lost a baby as such. Its more that we lost the possibility of having a child this year. We have talked a bit which is nice and we will have another child, I want to wait a couple of cycles though before trying to conceive as my body and mind need time to get over all of this.
Wee L was amazing on Thursday, she was so worried about the ambulance and why the men were coming, she was so good waiting in the ambulance while they stablised me. She showed a maturity far beyond her 3 years. K asked Ben lots of questions about what happened to me and why etc. Shes been really careful around me and giving me lovely cuddles too.
O ended up being weaned on Thursday, if i had realised that would be his last feed I would have enjoyed the closeness more. The affects of the anesthetic meant i would have had to discard any feeds for 24 hrs so we made the decision to wean him. He's coping really well with normal milk.
A big thanks for the emails and notes I have received they have made a big difference for me, esp when i read that friends have gone through similar.
love D
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2 comments:
Glad to hear you are on the mend and the family are all looking after you!
Had to laugh at the comment "normal milk" though!! Normal in what sense?! (Culturally normal I guess in reality.)
*hugs*
there will be a follow up blog on the normality of milk.... just trying to figure it all out first
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