emotionally worn out

I had to get bloods done today to check out whether my beta hcg was dropping, I had to go to the hospital to get this done. I was fine with that, but I had to wait nearly 2 hrs in the womens health unit to get the results.....

I was fine sitting there with pregnant women, it made me a little sad but I was ok with it. not jealous or anything. My problem was when a new mum came in with a tiny baby, I nearly burst into tears over the sight of this tiny baby. It made me realise that I had lost the opportunity to be holding my own baby later this year. It made me realise that I had lost a baby.

Its been quite hard it think this and to move on today. I cant change what happened but I am at least hoping that this loss will make me strong and that I can cope with anything that life throws at me.

3 comments:

Azlemed said...
February 11, 2009 at 10:03 PM

I have just had a huge cry about it all and strangely although still feeling weepy i am feeling better. I hadnt yet been able to cry properly about what we had lost.

tomandemma said...
February 12, 2009 at 12:38 PM

Who designs those departments? It's particuarly cruel to sit women's health in with newborn babies.

Azlemed said...
February 12, 2009 at 1:00 PM

its obstetrics and gynaecology... probably done cos its one consultant for both. silly really esp as here its situated right beside the childrens ward.

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