Been to hospital....

will write more on this later today, but am feeling quite sad at the moment, I didn't realise that when they took part of the right fallopian tube that it meant that I now will not be able to conceive off that side. .... will continue this later D

Ok so I feel like continuing this... well not really, I am feeling quite down about it all tonight, I was fine at the hospital I didn't have to deal with the Dr I didn't like I had a lovely Dr and then the surgeon too, they both explained things really well and I didn't feel at all like I was being silly about questions that I had.

I do feel sad though that I have lost enough of my right tube to make conception pretty much impossible off the right side. Sad doesn't really explain how I feel, nothing does, I feel empty about it, and confused.

the Surgeon (Dr Hansen) was awesome she explained that she sees ectopic pregnancies as not being a "pregnancy" as such but more a life threatening situation. It was difficult in some ways but then she told me more about what I had happen and I can see that it wasn't a baby, it was "products of conception". In my case there was a large mass of placental tissue etc and it had ruptured the tube and was attached to my abdomen wall.

I am processing it all slowly, will have to do some more reading about partial fallopian tube loss and fertility. Dr Hansen did say though that we can try again after I get a period, but that I am to note when we do it, and to see GP as soon as I know I am pregnant, I am then to have frequent HCG bloods done and two or three early scans to see that everything is ok. She said the risk of having an ectopic again is around 15% but that since I have had three normal pregnancies she thought it probably wouldn't happen.

So a mixed bag really... dunno what to think or say or feel, maybe sleep is the answer tonight. D

8 comments:

Azlemed said...
February 27, 2009 at 11:46 AM

Thanks E, its not been an easy time but I am lucky we have great supportive family and friends.

I should clarify that the conception is impossible only refers to the right side, not the left.

Puerhan said...
February 28, 2009 at 8:14 AM

I'm sure you don't want a right-wing conception anyway! :-P

Azlemed said...
February 28, 2009 at 8:44 AM

thanks E.. that gave me a lovely giggle about it all.

Deborah said...
February 28, 2009 at 4:57 PM

I'm so sorry. I haven't been by for a while, so I missed this sad news. I hope your recovery goes well.

Azlemed said...
February 28, 2009 at 9:25 PM

Thanks D. its not been easy but we are getting there slowly. At least the physical side of it is over, just gotta get the mind around it all. D

Deborah said...
March 1, 2009 at 9:38 PM

just gotta get the mind around it all.

Take your time. There's no rush, and it will be done when it's done.

Very zen, I know, and very unlike atheist me. But having been through a similar sort of grieving process myself (w.r.t. infertility), I know that there's no deadline that you need to meet here, nothing that needs to be done until you are ready to do it. Kia kaha.

Azlemed said...
March 1, 2009 at 10:37 PM

i am finding that if I take each day as it comes that its ok. and somedays like yesterday are just crap regardless lol.

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