I get worried about Mum a lot, her heart went into atrial fibrilation again today, to fix this they electric shcok her heart back into rythm, this can take them 3 goes to get it sorted, Its all a bit scary when you are hundreds of kms away.
Shes seen her specialist in Dunedin whos opinion is that we just keep doing this till it doesnt work then her heart will just stay in AF. Its worrying because we have always known that Mum probalby wont see old age, or these wee kids of our group up. She was born with heart problems, her parents were told she wouldnt see 5 years let alone 53 so each year we have her is a bonus, but its sad to acknowledge when shes not well that my kids probably wont have their grandma at their graduations etc like I did.
Facing up to the mortality of your parents isnt an easy thing to do, I suppose it is a part of life but we all like to think that our parents are going to live to a very old age,
I am grateful that I have my mum, but the selfish part of me doesnt want to face up to the fact that she may not be here at some stage.
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Yeah facing parent's mortality is very hard. It hit me quite a bit when I last saw my dad after a long time... and of course to face it honestly I have to face my own mortality.
Hard. The preciousness of human existence.
I arent to good at facing my own mortality, but I dont want to live forever either :)
I do worry about my parents, they are in their 50's, which is young to many, but I still worry about them esp when I arent able to help in practical ways
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