life is good so why am i feeling so down

Ok, my life on paper looks pretty good yet I am not coping, I feel sad, lonely, anxious, stressed and scared. Ben challenged me this morning as to whether I was depressed, after some time thinking about it I came to the conclusion that he was right, I am displaying all my usual symptoms and some extras.

So about half an hour ago I rung the community mental health team and have asked for some help. Damn hard decision to make and I am still feeling pretty strange. But I needed to make it.

I have been spending money we dont have on stuff I dont need... (one of my stress indicators), I am sleeping more than I really need, I am constantly cold, my mood is low, I couldnt particularly care how I am looking and overall just feel crap.

Even writing this is proving to be painful, my life should be looking great and it is, but I just cannot get out of my own way to even enjoy it a little bit.

D

6 comments:

Stephanie said...
May 7, 2009 at 9:35 AM

I'm glad you made that call. Do you have any ways of mitigating some of the effects of depression until you get help? One of the ways I try to get out of a dark place is through exercise. But I'm sure you'll know some activities that you like to do that help without causing harm.

Azlemed said...
May 7, 2009 at 9:38 AM

Thanks, I am going to go see a friend this afternoon, and just writing this post made me feel a little better, have got girls brigade later which is good way to focus on others....

Anonymous said...
May 7, 2009 at 9:51 AM

It's good that you can write it down too it's a way of kinda getting some of it out, Glad you coming for a coffee later :O)Nic

Deborah said...
May 7, 2009 at 7:42 PM

Sometimes even just saying out loud that it's real is helpful. I'm glad you've been able to say it. And I hope you are able to find your way through it.

{{{hugs}}}

cheryl said...
August 24, 2009 at 5:05 AM

I have recently thought that I may be depressed. I don't know why though. I have had things in my life that have happened, but I thought I handled it well. I am alone most of the time, my soon to be fiance works away, so that is hard for me. I have no friends, really, my mood is blah, I'm overweight, and I do not like being in crowds. It is hard thing to except when you think you may be suffering from depression. I keep things inside too I have noticed, I don't like it when people know I am upset, expecially my boyfriend.

cheryl said...
August 24, 2009 at 5:07 AM

I have recently thought that I may be depressed. I don't know why though. I have had things in my life that have happened, but I thought I handled it well. I am alone most of the time, my soon to be fiance works away, so that is hard for me. I have no friends, really, my mood is blah, I'm overweight, and I do not like being in crowds. It is hard thing to except when you think you may be suffering from depression. I keep things inside too I have noticed, I don't like it when people know I am upset, expecially my boyfriend.

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