I did it... made a complaint to the DHB

I have just sent off an email to the Midcentral DHB customer services person about the care I recieved after our loss.

I was unhappy about being placed in a room with pregnant women etc so I decided to make a complaint about it. And I feel so much better now that I have done that.

I also stated that I was unhappy with the waiting time I spent at the Womens health Unit waiting for blood test results.

I did say that I found the care I recieved in A&E was brilliant and that Dr Hansen and her team were awesome. I found Dr Hansen was easy to talk to and she was direct about how she saw things. I actually got information from her that helped me.

Part of my compalint was also that I was not given any information about ectopic pregnancy, the procedures that I had had or about where I could get support/counselling if I needed it.

Overall I am glad I made the complaint even if it changes things for just one women in my situation I will be happy. It also has given me the chance to get some closure on this.

D

fed up...................

I cannot explain it but I am so fed up with everything today. It's just little things hack me off and i just want to scream and yell. thought I do not because that's not something that I do very often.

I am getting annoyed with house hunting, I am feeling like its all my job to do and that is frustrating me a lot. I am also frustrated with the $$$ aspects of it all. The mortgage broker is helpful though, so sometime this weekend we should know where we are at borrowing wise.

I am also frustrated about loss stuff.... I am not coping very well with it today which is not nice, I just feel sad that we have gone through this. I am unhappy that I feel like I am getting better about it and then I feel like I regress back to where I was a couple of weeks ago. I am just sad about it all.

So I am feeling a bit Blah today, and just cant be bothered at all. D

Been to hospital....

will write more on this later today, but am feeling quite sad at the moment, I didn't realise that when they took part of the right fallopian tube that it meant that I now will not be able to conceive off that side. .... will continue this later D

Ok so I feel like continuing this... well not really, I am feeling quite down about it all tonight, I was fine at the hospital I didn't have to deal with the Dr I didn't like I had a lovely Dr and then the surgeon too, they both explained things really well and I didn't feel at all like I was being silly about questions that I had.

I do feel sad though that I have lost enough of my right tube to make conception pretty much impossible off the right side. Sad doesn't really explain how I feel, nothing does, I feel empty about it, and confused.

the Surgeon (Dr Hansen) was awesome she explained that she sees ectopic pregnancies as not being a "pregnancy" as such but more a life threatening situation. It was difficult in some ways but then she told me more about what I had happen and I can see that it wasn't a baby, it was "products of conception". In my case there was a large mass of placental tissue etc and it had ruptured the tube and was attached to my abdomen wall.

I am processing it all slowly, will have to do some more reading about partial fallopian tube loss and fertility. Dr Hansen did say though that we can try again after I get a period, but that I am to note when we do it, and to see GP as soon as I know I am pregnant, I am then to have frequent HCG bloods done and two or three early scans to see that everything is ok. She said the risk of having an ectopic again is around 15% but that since I have had three normal pregnancies she thought it probably wouldn't happen.

So a mixed bag really... dunno what to think or say or feel, maybe sleep is the answer tonight. D

3 weeks since loss

so its three weeks today since i was sitting on this couch in immense pain wondering what the hell was going on.... 3 weeks... not that long really, am still lost for words at times about it all. I have a hospital appointment for this afternoon with the specialist, am really nervous about it, I have questions about the embryo.. like how far along was I etc, and what are my chances of it happening again etc, would love more info really still feeling like I dont know very much about what happened etc.

L is still very clingy but thankfully has gone out with her godparents for the day which is nice for me. They will take her to kindy and pick her up afterwards which is great as my appointment is for 2:30.

Mum is in hospital in Dunedin which is worrying me too. She had the wires taken out from her surgery when K was tiny, but her warfarin levels arent balanced so she is bleeding and is having problems with pain and eating. I hate being so far away at times like this, I know shes ok but its hard.

D

parenting alone in the evenings....

For the next ten weeks, I am doing tuesdays by myself, Ben is doing a landmark forum thingy so is in wellington every tuesday evening.

I arent 100% happy about it, but sometimes there are advantages to getting the evening routine done by myself. its 6:20pm and O is in bed, the girls are in their nighties, we are just about to do reading and then off to bed for them too.... ah bliss....

have had a bit tummy cramp today, made me feel a bit uneasy and brought up thoughts from nearly 3 weeks ago.

I am all over the place on ttc... sometimes i just want to get pregnant again to get rid of the doubts etc, other times i think i arent ready to get pregnant yet, its such a roller coaster at times. its probably best if we wait, but its really hard, esp when you are more attuned to seeing pregnant women or babies around. One of the women from church brought us around a casserole last night which was really nice.

so my thoughts are a bit scrambled this evening, I think I will have a tv night, house is one and so is boston legal, i could do with a laugh. D

Proud of my wee triathletes

the triathlon club here in Palmy is awesome, its so supportive of getting kids out there having a go. this is K's third season doing the Summer series, for her age group they run 300m, bike 600m, and swim one length of the learners pool. Its done at the pool and park next to our place which makes it easy for us to go to as well.

L did her first triathlon tonight, shes 3 so its an awesome thing that she felt confident enough to have a go. We are really proud of her too... the offical age for doing it is 4 but they let 3 year olds do it too. Her godparents daughter ran beside her for her run and bike and watched her in the pool. She was so proud of herself doing the whole thing, to top it off she won a spot prize too which was nice.

K did it without trainer wheels on her bike, this was the first time shes done anything without them, she was a bit wobbly still and fell off a couple of times, but she was so proud of herself for doing it.

We have a club tri this weekend, I will do it with K, and Ben is going to do the bike with us with the youngest two in the bike trailer, we have the events out at Linton Army camp, its great as we dont have the issues of road/traffic control that happens in town, and they have a nice 25m pool that we can use.

We are really enjoying having something that we can all do together, I wasnt in to sport as a kid, but this is a good way for me to be active and to be a role model to my children,

Victory for blackout protest

The government has given the industry a month to sort out an appropriate code for policing of this act. this is a victory to every person who blacked out their avatars, websites, emailed MP's etc.

for more info Stuff has a story on the decision so far.

post after blackout

we won't really know if it was successful until after cabinet meets today. but lets hope we are getting our point across.

protest s92a #blackout

As part of the protest people are blacking out their websites for the 23rd of February, I am not very technologically advanced so I am just writing this wee note to ask my readers to go to creative freedom foundation and see what blackout is about....

a nice weekend

two sleep ins, yay.... an evening out without children, yippy, bed shopping, a birthday party, house hunting, just being together.....

We have had a nice relaxing weekend. I got to sleep in both mornings and it was so good. We went to friends wee girls first birthday party yesterday afternoon which was lovely. got home at 6:40pm and the babysitter (Emmaleen) arrived at 7pm while I was running around finding matching shoes and getting dressed and make up on. We went to a labour party fundraiser, the annual wine auction, it was a great night and we really enjoyed ourselves didn't get home to 11:30pm but we had sat around afterwards and chatted with friends about ideas for Palmy labour. We then came home and drunk milo with our sitter and chatted for ages. what a great night we had.

This morning i got to sleep in again, then we went out, we went looking at furniture and found a really nice mattress, our bed is too hard and neither of us are sleeping very well at all... now just gotta work out the $$$$. we also went and looked at a house that we knew was outta our price range but we wanted to see why they thought it was worth that amount. we think it was over priced for the area and the size of the house.

After that we came home, and I have started sorting out all my stuff in our bedroom, its feeling good to get sorted in there again.

I cooked butter chicken for tea, yummy and after that did reading with K, shes doing really well, and is hopefully going to have the same love affair with books that I have.

D