sunburnt and tired

I helped out as a Marshall today at the Weetbix kids Tryathlon, it was awesome, there were over 1250 entries from 7 to 15 years of age.

This was the first time I had been to one of these events, its only the second year they have run one in Palmy. It was amazing, the kids looked like they were having a great time and its really neat seeing a wide range of children out there having a go at something different.

I was on a street intersection making sure cars didn't run the competitors over, it was great getting to yell encouragement at the children as they biked past. I would have preferred to have had some shade though as I am now a very pink person instead of my usual white, I did have a hat and sunnies on, its just my arms and neck that are really pink.

A friends daughter looked after the two littlies she is great with them, and they just love being with her, so over all I have had a nice day,

ps I managed to make a word cloud.... yay thanks to Puerhan for pointers on how to do it

pregnancy

A person I went to school with has announced her pregnancy on facebook and added scan pics.... I am struggling hugely with this. My sisters best friend has also told us shes pregnant, and due around when I would have been.

I am struggling with it all, I don't know quite how to face it. I am happy for them, but I am unhappy, sad that it isnt me, sad that I am grieving still, sad that I am jealous of others happiness.

Unhappy, sad, miserable, jealous, lost for words.... I just wish it had been me.

its a month on the 5th and I am still struggling with it at all, I am getting better, its just small things like scan pics that throw me a bit.

I want to be happy for them, and I am happy that they will get to experience parenting and having children etc, and all the joy etc that goes with that.

I get to host a carnival..... in June

I am holding this carnival in June, better learn how to hotlink things etc before then lol. D

New look for my blog

I was getting a bit bored with the look of my blog so I found this look online... any comments on what you think would be great, I need help to get the labels thing to look different I hate it as a list... would prefer it too be a jumble of words...

love D

response from Midcentral DHB

I received this today via email. The DHB customer person has contacted me and forwarded my complaint to the relevant person.

It will be interesting to see what happens next about it.


Dear Demelza

MidCentral District Health Board welcomes feedback and thanks you for
contacting us regarding the concerns you have about the lack of
sensitivity and lack of information you experienced following your
recent surgery.

Your comments have been forwarded to Mr Nicholas Glubb, Group Manager,
Women's Health Services. He will be responsible to have your complaint
investigated. You will receive a written response to your complaint
once the investigation is complete.

Should you be dissatisfied with the outcome, or have any other issues
you wish to discuss, please contact the Customer Relations office.

Yours sincerely etc....

So lets just wait and see.... they did respond within the 5 day time limit too which I am impressed with.

D

down under feminist carnival

I got a wee mention in the carnival, yay, so thanks to whoever nominated my post on complaint to the dhb....

feeling really fragile today

I am not feeling great, I didnt sleep very well, the weather is changing all the time and I am just over the whole damn think. I am actually a bit worried about how low I have felt over the weekend, I am thinking I might ring a pregnancy support line or something to talk to someone about how I feel about the loss, and how I am coping/not coping with it.

I arent even wanting to eat very much but I am eating because I know I have to.... I think I will have a nice bath tonight and have some time to do me stuff.

I had managed to get my citalopram dose down to 20mg, but I am going to go back up to 40mg for the next while to get me through this patch.

remembering loss

I said earlier that I wanted to get something that I could wear to commemorate the loss we had. I found something the other day, I have a gold chain that I always wear so I thought I would see if I could find something to wear on it.

I found a wee gold disc, with two sets of footprints on it, the other side says "when you saw only one set of footprints it was then that i carried you". Its from a poem called footprints and it is in relation to God carrying us when we need help. To me though it also signifies the carrying of a child so I thought it worked for what I wanted. I also got a wee gold heart to wear that is red enamel on one side. I will not always wear them but for now it helps with the healing process that I am going through.

Yesterday was really tough in the morning, I just felt isolated and lost, we went to friends in the late afternoon which cheered me up, and doing the tri this morning was great as I got the physical energy release that I needed.

Each day is a little easier but I am aware that I can have bad days but they aren't happening quite as often.

D

facebook... addiction gone crazy

I am a facebook addict... I have little boxes for this and that, hundreds of acquaintances, games etc.... well not anymore, today I purged my friends list of people I knew once but that I dont communicate with over facebook or in any other situation, I left a pile of groups that I didnt want to belong to anymore, and I took little boxes and applications away as well that were just frustrating me.

So in someways I have streamlined my facebook usage so that it works as a networking tool and a great way to keep in contact with people who I interact with.

So byebye using facebook as a timewaster, more to using it in more positive ways, like chatting with my wee sister, looking at friends pictures etc.

D

triathlon day again

yep another one done... did it a bit differently today, K ran with a friends boy, then her and I biked, then I swam for us. (she swam in the little pool). L did it, she ran with a friends daughter, then biked beside her godmother who was pushing O in the pram. Ben did his first medium course which is 3.5km run (which he did with no stops) 15km bike, and 200m swim, I was really proud of all my family as they all went out and had a great time.

Its funny how something that I started doing for me has become something that my family now do. We have the kids tri series tomorrow night, so both of the girls will be doing that. Thankfully we have friends whose children are really athletic and love helping the girls which is great for us.

D