sleep avoidance

I hate going to bed by myself.... I aren't used to it, and have never lived by myself, I went from home to flatting, then back home, then marriage, then back home(with hubby) then palmy, a year in Oamaru and back up here.... never though have I lived by myself. Its a strange idea really that in 32 yrs of existence I have always lived with other people.

Ben is in Wellington this evening and I find the evenings he is away are the hardest for me to go to bed. I am tired, its late but I struggle to make myself leave the couch and crawl into bed. The kids were all in bed by 7pm so I have had quietness since then, yet I still sit here.

I wonder why it is when I know I need to sleep that I procrastinate and avoid going to bed by myself. I have gotten very used to having Ben sleep beside me and even sharing with one of the kids is better than sleeping alone.. unless Ben is home then I am quite happy to go to sleep by myself.

Its stupid really, I should get used to the idea that I can sleep by myself, but... I have not yet.

4 comments:

Deborah said...
April 7, 2009 at 11:26 PM

Me too! I've never lived by myself either; I've been at home ( my parents' place), in a university hostel, in flats, with two or three or four other people, or living with my partner (for nearly 20 years now). I really dislike going to bed by myself. Every now and then when one or other of us has a cold, or is not sleeping well for whatever reason, one or other of us will retreat to our guest bed, but that's not a problem. It's when he's away that I can never quite organise myself into bed.

And, SNAP! My partner is away tonight too. I have a good excuse for staying up late; a good friend came over for dinner, with her daughters, and now I have to do the clean-up, and then do my pre-reading for the tutorials I'm teaching tomorrow. I'm figuring on being up 'til around midnight, but I would be doing that in his absence anyway.

Anonymous said...
April 9, 2009 at 9:58 AM

I do it too! I'm sure it is due to the change in normality and the expectation of them coming home, so we wait even thou we know they aren't coming home. I am more used to it now as it happens quite often and there were times he was away alot. But I went from living at home (and some other places) to living with hubby so same thing for me too.

Anonymous said...
April 9, 2009 at 9:59 AM

Ops that last comment was from me. Neats.

Azlemed said...
April 9, 2009 at 10:12 AM

I wonder how many other women are in the situation where they have never lived by themselves. When an Uncle of mine died it was only then that my aunty lived by herself, and shes found it very strange, my sister has been by herself since her separation and found it quite different.

He was out last night too, and i was just in bed when he got home, but the routine with the kids is different too when its just me.

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