We have got my parents staying till Friday morning which is really nice, so I have barely been near the computer much less had time to blog about anything that is happening in our lives at the moment. We have had a nice weekend, out for a BBQ on Sat. night, then we went to Masterton yesterday to get some things and look at car parts. 7 seater cars make such a difference to these sort of outings.
I have had the girls home today, we decided that they could have a couple of days off school and kindy while their grandparents were visiting, they are both loving it and told Mum this morning that they should live in Palmy, not Oamaru.
Its a cool idea but not going to happen at the moment, its more likely that we would move back to the south island at some stage.
We are still house hunting, we looked at an Art Deco one today which I quite liked. Ben is unsure though, but it was big enough for us all which had advantages. And it was three blocks from school and kindy which would be great.
D
freaking out
Posted in family, parents on 7:36 PM by Azlemed
Mum and Dad will be here in the next hour. I am stressed, the kids are being difficult because I am stressed and the house still isnt tidy......
Ben is stressed from work, so its all very chaotic, O is in bed, the girls are heading there, think I will have a cuppa and see what I can achieve in a small amount of time....
Ben is stressed from work, so its all very chaotic, O is in bed, the girls are heading there, think I will have a cuppa and see what I can achieve in a small amount of time....
cold grey day
Posted in biking, cold, weather on 1:16 PM by Azlemed
I knew that a cold front was moving up the country, I was just not quite prepared for how cold I was going to feel.... I am frozen, have even put socks and boots on today, and am wearing a merino top too... K has worn tights with her skirt today and I am glad she did, its not probably as cold as it is down south, but at the moment its the first kind of hint that it is autumn and I need to look at the kids clothes and my own for the winter to make sure things fit well etc.
Its also raining which isnt nice, I suspect it will bucket down at 2:50pm when its time to get K from school. I just arent a huge fan of cold grey days, its depressing and makes me feel cold.....
We are thinking about getting K a 20" bike with gears for her 6th birthday, it will mean that shes able to go faster and its more efficient for cycling for her.... I am thinking of getting a red bike as its more unisex and I will be able to pass it on for O when he needs that size. its strange when you are looking at this sort of thing and working out how to pass them down through the children. L got a 16" bike for her birthday because she was too big for her bike, I suspect I will be buying a second 20" bike for her 5th birthday because she is only a small bit shorter than K. her 16" bike is red for the reason that O can have it once shes outgrown it.
Its also raining which isnt nice, I suspect it will bucket down at 2:50pm when its time to get K from school. I just arent a huge fan of cold grey days, its depressing and makes me feel cold.....
We are thinking about getting K a 20" bike with gears for her 6th birthday, it will mean that shes able to go faster and its more efficient for cycling for her.... I am thinking of getting a red bike as its more unisex and I will be able to pass it on for O when he needs that size. its strange when you are looking at this sort of thing and working out how to pass them down through the children. L got a 16" bike for her birthday because she was too big for her bike, I suspect I will be buying a second 20" bike for her 5th birthday because she is only a small bit shorter than K. her 16" bike is red for the reason that O can have it once shes outgrown it.
Lincoln University to merge with Agresearch
Posted in Lincoln University merger on 1:27 PM by Azlemed
this may be come quite a topic oh here for the next while as Ben is employed by Agresearch, I am wondering quite who came up with the idea to merge our biggest Crown Research Institute with a University, I am sure cost cutting has come into the equation and maybe the promise of more funding from the government.
Lincoln was until the late 1980s an Agriculture College, it is an awesome University, my sister, Mum and I all went there, but should a university be merged with a company that its doing research but also about making a profit? The philosophy behind this merger intrigues me and I am sure I will find out more once I talk to Ben and read more as it come available.
Lincoln was until the late 1980s an Agriculture College, it is an awesome University, my sister, Mum and I all went there, but should a university be merged with a company that its doing research but also about making a profit? The philosophy behind this merger intrigues me and I am sure I will find out more once I talk to Ben and read more as it come available.
making stuff again....
Posted in sewing on 11:18 AM by Azlemed
a week ago I unsuccessfully tried to sew... I have noticed when I aren't 100% that my sewing ability goes out the window, as it did that time, but today I have modified what I was trying to do and it worked, yay, now just to make a few modifications and I can make some more for others... I have made an apron type dress with a cowl neck and halter straps, its got a fishtail sort of effect from the centre back, I made it out of an old sari so its quite funky, I just have to find my red belt to go around the middle and its all good. :)
I will post a pic tonight when Bens home so that it shows more accurately what I have made.
I will post a pic tonight when Bens home so that it shows more accurately what I have made.
titles do we need them?
Posted in politics, titles, treaty on 5:40 PM by Azlemed
John Key and his government have decided to reinstate the titles of Knight and Dame to Nz's merit orders..... I cant say I am very impressed... it seems like such an English concept and I do not see NZ as the mini Britain that we used to be in the 1950's. I feel that as a society we have advanced since the time that these sort of Titles were considered part of our society.
It was considered a move towards becoming a republic when they were scrapped, and that is a discussion that needs to be held in NZ as we mature as an independent country. The biggest issue though with becoming a republic is the status of the Treaty of Waitangi. It is a document signed between Maori and the Queen/sovereign of the commonwealth. How this would be dealt with in a Republics constitution is a huge issue and very complex.
ITs something I might have to do some more reading about before posting again on it, but I would love to know what other people think about titles, and republicanism....
It was considered a move towards becoming a republic when they were scrapped, and that is a discussion that needs to be held in NZ as we mature as an independent country. The biggest issue though with becoming a republic is the status of the Treaty of Waitangi. It is a document signed between Maori and the Queen/sovereign of the commonwealth. How this would be dealt with in a Republics constitution is a huge issue and very complex.
ITs something I might have to do some more reading about before posting again on it, but I would love to know what other people think about titles, and republicanism....
thoughts for the day
Posted in family, parents, sewing on 9:39 PM by Azlemed
I have come up with a really cool design for a top/dress, cant wait to get to make one, but it will wait until I have got the kids rooms sorted out, O's is nearly done and the girls shouldnt take too long, its just putting the toys in the toybox etc.
We have been busy sorting out stuff today. Our base to our bed smelled a bit musty so we have covered it in baking soda and left it outside for the day/night. We are getting a new mattress tomorrow which will be really cool, its got latex both sides and pocket springs so should give us a much better sleep than what we are currently getting. I think the bed is one of the reasons why I dont want to go to bed very early, its just really uncomfortable and I hate it.
K has been awesome with her biking, she went over to the park with Ben today and he ended up coming back to get his bike so he could ride with her. I took her on the road for the first time, we biked to get a newspaper, braved one set of lights, and on the way home she got up to 14kph which is rather good for 5yrs on a 16 inch bike.
Lil O has started pointing at things and saying look, its very cute and its a nice way to know what hes seeing thats interesting to him. L is settling back down which is great, she spent most of yesterday with her godmum and M, she didnt want to come home at all.
Am thinking about going to church in the morning. We need to go 20 times during the school year for K to qualify for one of her Girls brigade badges so I had better start making it part of our routine again.
I had a good talk with my Mum today, shes begun reading my ramblings which is quite cool as her and Dad can keep up to date with my mood etc and I feel like I am able to be more honest with them about it, instead of trying to make everything sound great etc.
D
We have been busy sorting out stuff today. Our base to our bed smelled a bit musty so we have covered it in baking soda and left it outside for the day/night. We are getting a new mattress tomorrow which will be really cool, its got latex both sides and pocket springs so should give us a much better sleep than what we are currently getting. I think the bed is one of the reasons why I dont want to go to bed very early, its just really uncomfortable and I hate it.
K has been awesome with her biking, she went over to the park with Ben today and he ended up coming back to get his bike so he could ride with her. I took her on the road for the first time, we biked to get a newspaper, braved one set of lights, and on the way home she got up to 14kph which is rather good for 5yrs on a 16 inch bike.
Lil O has started pointing at things and saying look, its very cute and its a nice way to know what hes seeing thats interesting to him. L is settling back down which is great, she spent most of yesterday with her godmum and M, she didnt want to come home at all.
Am thinking about going to church in the morning. We need to go 20 times during the school year for K to qualify for one of her Girls brigade badges so I had better start making it part of our routine again.
I had a good talk with my Mum today, shes begun reading my ramblings which is quite cool as her and Dad can keep up to date with my mood etc and I feel like I am able to be more honest with them about it, instead of trying to make everything sound great etc.
D
Worn out, but going to stay up and watch tv
Posted in family, sewing on 8:46 PM by Azlemed
Its project runway tonight and I find it quite good to watch, its neat seeing what they come up with each challenge and how they use fabrics etc... my dilemma tonight is whether to watch that or what Gok Wan's how to look good naked.... I think I know how to look good naked, its called artistic use of ones bed sheets :).....
So I will watch Project runway and see if I can get inspired to do some sewing, that after I sort things out for my parents arriving on Thursday next week. I want to make clothing that has a slightly sassy edge on it... thanks E for the new word of the week :) its great.
Whether its through use of fabrics or cut or design, it should be a bit of a challenge for me, I also want to make a couple of apron type dresses/tops that can be thrown over tights or trousers and a top to dress up an outift.
So I am hoping that I will get a small chance to play a bit this weekend....
In other very exciting news K rode home from school to our friends without trainer wheels and after two blocks we were running to keep up with her. I am so proud of her, shes just beaming tonight about it. She also thinks she has a wiggly tooth.... I arent 100% sure if it is or not so we shall see....
So I will watch Project runway and see if I can get inspired to do some sewing, that after I sort things out for my parents arriving on Thursday next week. I want to make clothing that has a slightly sassy edge on it... thanks E for the new word of the week :) its great.
Whether its through use of fabrics or cut or design, it should be a bit of a challenge for me, I also want to make a couple of apron type dresses/tops that can be thrown over tights or trousers and a top to dress up an outift.
So I am hoping that I will get a small chance to play a bit this weekend....
In other very exciting news K rode home from school to our friends without trainer wheels and after two blocks we were running to keep up with her. I am so proud of her, shes just beaming tonight about it. She also thinks she has a wiggly tooth.... I arent 100% sure if it is or not so we shall see....
busy day running around
Posted in family, parenting on 8:50 PM by Azlemed
So I feel like I have been on the go all day, it started badly because we all slept in, then I had to take K to school, Ben to the dentist, then the Drs, then for an xray then home. Then Ben picked up K, took L to kindy, and we were then out again by 2:30 for K's parent teacher interviews, had to pick L up, back home for a cuppa, then Girls brigade at 4:30, home after six, cooked tea, put kids to bed, Ben had people arrive for landmark thing...
Reading it, this sounds totally mad, I am tired from being in the car so much, and I just cant really be bothered this evening, I have done some surfing, I am looking to make some apron dresses for over things for winter etc...
Its also a month today since the loss, and I am getting better but am still sad about lots of things, it was damn hard waiting for Ben to get his xray too as it was at the same place as they do scans so I felt overwhelmed with pregnant bumps etc.....
Girls brigade was fun, its great that I have something that I get to do with K.
Ben is busy doing Landmark stuff for the third night in a row so I am also feeling just a bit neglected company wise too....
K's parent teacher interview was really good, her teacher is happy with how she is going and said shes a lovely wee girl. Its nice as parents to hear things like this about your children and I was very proud of my girl.
anyway tomorrow is a new day so we will see what it brings.
Reading it, this sounds totally mad, I am tired from being in the car so much, and I just cant really be bothered this evening, I have done some surfing, I am looking to make some apron dresses for over things for winter etc...
Its also a month today since the loss, and I am getting better but am still sad about lots of things, it was damn hard waiting for Ben to get his xray too as it was at the same place as they do scans so I felt overwhelmed with pregnant bumps etc.....
Girls brigade was fun, its great that I have something that I get to do with K.
Ben is busy doing Landmark stuff for the third night in a row so I am also feeling just a bit neglected company wise too....
K's parent teacher interview was really good, her teacher is happy with how she is going and said shes a lovely wee girl. Its nice as parents to hear things like this about your children and I was very proud of my girl.
anyway tomorrow is a new day so we will see what it brings.
Feminist Mothers....
Posted in familly, feminism, parenting on 9:02 PM by Azlemed
I was reading Blue Milk and she had an older post on feminist mothers, so I though hey lets give this a try....
I got an email back today from her saying she would put my post up as a guest post, but I thought I would post it here to be read too... so here it is my responses to what does a feminist mother look like?
1. How would you describe your feminism in one sentence? When did you become a feminist? Was it before or after you became a mother?
My feminism is probably based very simply on the premise of equality. I have probably always been a feminist, its become stronger now that I am a mother as I don't want my girls to be treated worse because they aren't boys.
2. What has surprised you most about motherhood? that perfect strangers think they can comment on how you are parenting, on how your children look on the the number of children you have and whether you are finished having babies, the biggest comment that annoys me is that after 2 daughters we had a son, so i get "oh you must be so happy to have a son". I didn't get pregnant to have a son... we wanted a third child gender was not part of the equation. Now that we have three children we also get the " are you finished now thing" It is my husband and my choice how many children we have, we have just lost our first pregnancy and that has made us even more determined that we want a fourth child.
3. How has your feminism changed over time? What is the impact of motherhood on your feminism? My feminism has evolved with me as an adult. it was originally more the girls can do anything approach, now its more that women and girls should have as many opportunities available to them as possible and that gender discrimination is not on.the impact of my feminism on my mothering has been that I will encourage all of my children to be the best they can be at what they choose to do, that they are all equal and that a penis does not give my son preferential treatment over my daughters.
4. What makes your mothering feminist? How does your approach differ from a non-feminist mother’s? How does feminism impact upon your parenting? I think the fact that I firmly believe that women are equal makes my mothering feminist. I have observed with having three children that they are all different and that there are patterns of behaviour that are more specific to one gender, but that does not excuse bad behaviour. Girls do girly things, boys do boy things, but they also play with each others stuff and they all treat each other with respect regardless of whether they are boys or girls. We shouldn't encourage them to play solely with the same gender, this makes life harder and leads to this whole boys/girls are better.... its stupid. I think this is how feminism impacts on my parenting that i am unwilling to accept gender as an excuse for anything
5. Do you ever feel compromised as a feminist mother? Do you ever feel you’ve failed as a feminist mother? I feel compromised with the whole work/home balance... I am currently a SAHM, I have no intention of returning to teaching anytime in the near future, but as the wife of a scientist I feel that there is an expectation from educated middle classes that mums should work at home and in the paid workforce. I have not noticed this pressure being so high amongst my friends who aren't university educated. It feels like i am being accused of failing yet to me I am doing the best job I can, and that is bringing up my children, I am lucky that I can choose to do this, and that I have this choice, other women are not so lucky. Failure is easy to feel.... I gave up a career to stay at home with children, we put my husbands career ahead of mine because he can earn more etc... this feels like failure.
6. Has identifying as a feminist mother ever been difficult? Why? No... maybe because I don't voice it, I just do it.
7. Motherhood involves sacrifice, how do you reconcile that with being a feminist? that's probably the hardest bit of being a feminist, and a mother is that I am constantly sacrificing my needs ahead of those of my husband and family. I put my children's needs a head of my own on a daily basis. I do try though to balance this by having some me time to do what i want, which means some days i sew instead of doing my housework, because i need to feel creative or just be Me instead of being everyone else's property.
8. If you have a partner, how does your partner feel about your feminist motherhood? What is the impact of your feminism on your partner? I don't think he has huge thoughts on it, most of the time we agree on how we are bringing up our children, the biggest impact on him is that I still expect him to help around the house even when he works....
9. If you’re an attachment parenting mother, what challenges if any does this pose for your feminism and how have you resolved them?
10. Do you feel feminism has failed mothers and if so how? Personally, what do you think feminism has given mothers? Feminism hasn't failed us its just got twisted up at times, we should be happy with our choices but this is sometimes not possible due to societal pressures on us as women to be supermums. The one failure I can see though is that men still do not do more than 20% of the house chores... this still suxes and its the running a house and working thing that leads to the biggest amount of guilt that we cant be everything we want....
I got an email back today from her saying she would put my post up as a guest post, but I thought I would post it here to be read too... so here it is my responses to what does a feminist mother look like?
1. How would you describe your feminism in one sentence? When did you become a feminist? Was it before or after you became a mother?
My feminism is probably based very simply on the premise of equality. I have probably always been a feminist, its become stronger now that I am a mother as I don't want my girls to be treated worse because they aren't boys.
2. What has surprised you most about motherhood? that perfect strangers think they can comment on how you are parenting, on how your children look on the the number of children you have and whether you are finished having babies, the biggest comment that annoys me is that after 2 daughters we had a son, so i get "oh you must be so happy to have a son". I didn't get pregnant to have a son... we wanted a third child gender was not part of the equation. Now that we have three children we also get the " are you finished now thing" It is my husband and my choice how many children we have, we have just lost our first pregnancy and that has made us even more determined that we want a fourth child.
3. How has your feminism changed over time? What is the impact of motherhood on your feminism? My feminism has evolved with me as an adult. it was originally more the girls can do anything approach, now its more that women and girls should have as many opportunities available to them as possible and that gender discrimination is not on.the impact of my feminism on my mothering has been that I will encourage all of my children to be the best they can be at what they choose to do, that they are all equal and that a penis does not give my son preferential treatment over my daughters.
4. What makes your mothering feminist? How does your approach differ from a non-feminist mother’s? How does feminism impact upon your parenting? I think the fact that I firmly believe that women are equal makes my mothering feminist. I have observed with having three children that they are all different and that there are patterns of behaviour that are more specific to one gender, but that does not excuse bad behaviour. Girls do girly things, boys do boy things, but they also play with each others stuff and they all treat each other with respect regardless of whether they are boys or girls. We shouldn't encourage them to play solely with the same gender, this makes life harder and leads to this whole boys/girls are better.... its stupid. I think this is how feminism impacts on my parenting that i am unwilling to accept gender as an excuse for anything
5. Do you ever feel compromised as a feminist mother? Do you ever feel you’ve failed as a feminist mother? I feel compromised with the whole work/home balance... I am currently a SAHM, I have no intention of returning to teaching anytime in the near future, but as the wife of a scientist I feel that there is an expectation from educated middle classes that mums should work at home and in the paid workforce. I have not noticed this pressure being so high amongst my friends who aren't university educated. It feels like i am being accused of failing yet to me I am doing the best job I can, and that is bringing up my children, I am lucky that I can choose to do this, and that I have this choice, other women are not so lucky. Failure is easy to feel.... I gave up a career to stay at home with children, we put my husbands career ahead of mine because he can earn more etc... this feels like failure.
6. Has identifying as a feminist mother ever been difficult? Why? No... maybe because I don't voice it, I just do it.
7. Motherhood involves sacrifice, how do you reconcile that with being a feminist? that's probably the hardest bit of being a feminist, and a mother is that I am constantly sacrificing my needs ahead of those of my husband and family. I put my children's needs a head of my own on a daily basis. I do try though to balance this by having some me time to do what i want, which means some days i sew instead of doing my housework, because i need to feel creative or just be Me instead of being everyone else's property.
8. If you have a partner, how does your partner feel about your feminist motherhood? What is the impact of your feminism on your partner? I don't think he has huge thoughts on it, most of the time we agree on how we are bringing up our children, the biggest impact on him is that I still expect him to help around the house even when he works....
9. If you’re an attachment parenting mother, what challenges if any does this pose for your feminism and how have you resolved them?
10. Do you feel feminism has failed mothers and if so how? Personally, what do you think feminism has given mothers? Feminism hasn't failed us its just got twisted up at times, we should be happy with our choices but this is sometimes not possible due to societal pressures on us as women to be supermums. The one failure I can see though is that men still do not do more than 20% of the house chores... this still suxes and its the running a house and working thing that leads to the biggest amount of guilt that we cant be everything we want....
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