I just wanted to say thanks to my friends who have supported me today. I have had a rough day on facebook, ending in being defriended by a cousin of mine.
Overall i have thought about it and decided that I cannot apoligise for something that I had no control over, I have been accused of being a "favourite" and better than them etc, I cannot apologise for something I didnt cause.
I have struggled all day with this, its so hard when its family that you are dealing with, we all percieve life differently and its these interpretations that have caused me to be no longer considered as family to my cousin.
We all have our own stories of what goes on around us, we all do it, its part of our humanity. Its something we do, be it to protect ourselves, or to make what we do better in our own eyes.
So again, thank you to my friends.
D
why do I blog
Posted in anxiety, blogging, depression on 2:20 PM by Azlemed
I had this thought running around in my head lately, esp after a strange comment on my facebook page that was said in remark to what I thought was just a giggle between cousins.
I was pretty much accused of being "sad and having no life" because I blog etc. so I thought about this over night, didnt write any comment back on the facebook comment and decided that I would write down why I blog......
So here it is.... I blog because its healthy for me.... yes its healthy lol. I find it a really good way to get thoughts out of my head and to understand my thoughts in a somewhat clearer way.
I also do it because I enjoy it, I love reading the comments, I love feeling that maybe some of what I have written will connect with somebody else and make them smile or think about an issue differently. I enjoy it.
I also find it a good way to stop thoughts from over running my head, with having dealt with depression and anxiety I find this a good release that doesnt harm anybody that I live with, it enables me to get stuff sorted with out loading it onto those that I love, sometimes stupid little things will really annoy me so writing them down is better in some contexts than getting all pissy with Ben over it.
I do have a life, its very busy with three kids and a husband who I care and look after, so if blogging works as a release for me then bugger it I am going to be "sad" and enjoy blogging...
So yep I am a blogger and guess what i feel fine about it.
I was pretty much accused of being "sad and having no life" because I blog etc. so I thought about this over night, didnt write any comment back on the facebook comment and decided that I would write down why I blog......
So here it is.... I blog because its healthy for me.... yes its healthy lol. I find it a really good way to get thoughts out of my head and to understand my thoughts in a somewhat clearer way.
I also do it because I enjoy it, I love reading the comments, I love feeling that maybe some of what I have written will connect with somebody else and make them smile or think about an issue differently. I enjoy it.
I also find it a good way to stop thoughts from over running my head, with having dealt with depression and anxiety I find this a good release that doesnt harm anybody that I live with, it enables me to get stuff sorted with out loading it onto those that I love, sometimes stupid little things will really annoy me so writing them down is better in some contexts than getting all pissy with Ben over it.
I do have a life, its very busy with three kids and a husband who I care and look after, so if blogging works as a release for me then bugger it I am going to be "sad" and enjoy blogging...
So yep I am a blogger and guess what i feel fine about it.
10 years of political activism
Posted in feminism, friends politics on 9:35 PM by Azlemed
yep 10 years ago I was the Lincoln university Womens rights officer, I headed off to Wellington for my "training" and learned how to be a staunch women and how to protest.... all very necessary skills for women in the late 1990's after nearly a decade of tory government.
At training i also met up again with two women I had been at school with, Anna was a role model for me at high school, she wasnt "cool" but seemed to be happy to be who she was and this was inspiring to a 14 year old geek.
I also made some friends through this that I have found again in the last year and have enjoyed connecting back with them. Its so neat to be able to rekindle friendships through the use of online places.
After my year at Lusa, Ben and I joined the Labour party, we toyed with the idea of the alliance, but Labour was were we settled, and have stayed. So at the end of this year we will have spent 10 years in the labour party.
In that time we have both been on various policy commitees, LEC's etc, and for a couple of years I was the youngest regional representative on NZ Council,
Most of this predates the arrival of children, although K attended her first council meeting at about 2 months old and her first conference at 5 months. But having the kids has slowed down our activism a bit, you tend to be less radical in someways when you are responsible for others.
Though I still protested at John Key when he was here in palmy during the election campaign
We now count as good friends the MP for our town who we were on the campaign team with and his wife and children will probably be friends of our family for a long time to come.
I have enjoyed my first 10 years of activism and look forward to the next ten whatever they may bring.
I am especially glad of some of the friendships that I have found through this, Iain, Clare, T, Julie, Anna, and various others.
I may not seem to be as staunch as I used to be, but then maybe I have learned to use my passions to bring changes in other ways.
So thank you to my three high schools too, the first taught me that women deserved a better place than they had. the second that women can be anything, and the third taught me to have fun..... all this and being a geek have lead to me wanting to make a change and for once I can honestly say that I think I have.
D
At training i also met up again with two women I had been at school with, Anna was a role model for me at high school, she wasnt "cool" but seemed to be happy to be who she was and this was inspiring to a 14 year old geek.
I also made some friends through this that I have found again in the last year and have enjoyed connecting back with them. Its so neat to be able to rekindle friendships through the use of online places.
After my year at Lusa, Ben and I joined the Labour party, we toyed with the idea of the alliance, but Labour was were we settled, and have stayed. So at the end of this year we will have spent 10 years in the labour party.
In that time we have both been on various policy commitees, LEC's etc, and for a couple of years I was the youngest regional representative on NZ Council,
Most of this predates the arrival of children, although K attended her first council meeting at about 2 months old and her first conference at 5 months. But having the kids has slowed down our activism a bit, you tend to be less radical in someways when you are responsible for others.
Though I still protested at John Key when he was here in palmy during the election campaign
We now count as good friends the MP for our town who we were on the campaign team with and his wife and children will probably be friends of our family for a long time to come.
I have enjoyed my first 10 years of activism and look forward to the next ten whatever they may bring.
I am especially glad of some of the friendships that I have found through this, Iain, Clare, T, Julie, Anna, and various others.
I may not seem to be as staunch as I used to be, but then maybe I have learned to use my passions to bring changes in other ways.
So thank you to my three high schools too, the first taught me that women deserved a better place than they had. the second that women can be anything, and the third taught me to have fun..... all this and being a geek have lead to me wanting to make a change and for once I can honestly say that I think I have.
D
need ideas on how to add to family income
Posted in money, self employment on 10:30 AM by Azlemed
So we are looking at buying a house, so I thought I would look at ways that I can supplement our family income without having to put the children into daycare.
I sew so I thought maybe there is something I can find to make that there is a market for.... One thought was baby slings. I love mine and find it a great way to carry O, esp when hes a bit grumpy and clingy. So I have an idea, now how do I make it work. Any ideas would be welcome, I thought maybe a note in the kindy cubbyholes, or an ad in the school newsletter.
My other thought was maybe making clothes and selling them at the market or online... there seem to be some cool things happening on trademe etc where people are making "original" clothing and selling them.
Any way help would be good on anything that I can do to help us.
D
I sew so I thought maybe there is something I can find to make that there is a market for.... One thought was baby slings. I love mine and find it a great way to carry O, esp when hes a bit grumpy and clingy. So I have an idea, now how do I make it work. Any ideas would be welcome, I thought maybe a note in the kindy cubbyholes, or an ad in the school newsletter.
My other thought was maybe making clothes and selling them at the market or online... there seem to be some cool things happening on trademe etc where people are making "original" clothing and selling them.
Any way help would be good on anything that I can do to help us.
D
bad drivers
Posted in on 4:09 PM by Azlemed
now I dont mean the ones that dont indicate to turn or anything Like that , I mean the irresponsible idiots who do not put children in carseats and let them sit in the car totally unrestrained. I saw one of these idiots today and dobbed them in. there was a small child standing up on the backseat looking all around whilst the car was being driven.
this so pisses me off. its so dumb. using carseats to protect children seems to be a bit of a no brainer to me, when we were little it wasnt compulsory, but children died being thrown through car windscreen or were seriously injured.
How hard is it to put them in a seat and do up the clip so that if you crash they are less likely to be seriously injured.
yes carseats are expensive to buy, but you can hire them from plunket and other groups, or you can borrow them from family and friends if necessary.
for me there is no excuse. children should be protected by us as they cant do it for themselves.
this so pisses me off. its so dumb. using carseats to protect children seems to be a bit of a no brainer to me, when we were little it wasnt compulsory, but children died being thrown through car windscreen or were seriously injured.
How hard is it to put them in a seat and do up the clip so that if you crash they are less likely to be seriously injured.
yes carseats are expensive to buy, but you can hire them from plunket and other groups, or you can borrow them from family and friends if necessary.
for me there is no excuse. children should be protected by us as they cant do it for themselves.
first haircuts
Posted in baby boy on 12:11 PM by Azlemed
our wee fella had his first haircut today, he no longer sports an iconic mullet, but has a cute wee boys cut. it was strange getting it done as the girls were over 2 when they first had theirs cut.
He was so good too, just about better behaved than the girls were getting theirs cut. I am getting mine cut this afternoon when L is at kindy, have decided that although I want long hair, its in such bad condition that I am going to get it cut shorter and start again.
I feel a bit sad looking at O with a less baby haircut, I guess lossing the duckfluff at the back makes him look a bit older than his 14 months. Esp as hes now walking everywhere and being more independant.
He was so good too, just about better behaved than the girls were getting theirs cut. I am getting mine cut this afternoon when L is at kindy, have decided that although I want long hair, its in such bad condition that I am going to get it cut shorter and start again.
I feel a bit sad looking at O with a less baby haircut, I guess lossing the duckfluff at the back makes him look a bit older than his 14 months. Esp as hes now walking everywhere and being more independant.
update.
Posted in on 6:01 PM by Azlemed
we missed out on the house by $5k, a bit gutted, and unhappy but oh well I suppose.
Been to drs... he not sure what is wrong so peed off about that too.....
We are going out for tea with a couple of friends for Indian which will be nice.
Been to drs... he not sure what is wrong so peed off about that too.....
We are going out for tea with a couple of friends for Indian which will be nice.
our 11th wedding anniversary is today
Posted in anniversary, home ownership on 2:10 PM by Azlemed
yep 11 years not bad considering we are only 31 and 32. we have been through a lot and are still together which is awesome.
We are still waiting to hear about the house..... and i am still sick, off to the drs again just soon.
D
We are still waiting to hear about the house..... and i am still sick, off to the drs again just soon.
D
more house stuff and sickness too
Posted in home ownership, triathlons on 7:27 PM by Azlemed
so the house saga continues, we put another offer in on tuesday because there was another person offering on it, turns out we are still waiting to find out who gets it due to the owner being away in the army till tonight. so the waiting is driving me batty and to top it off I have another damn uti. I have spent the last 4 days in bed taking panadol and ibuprofen to be even slightly comfortable.
Am really unhappy at being sick as i have only just got over the bout I had at xmas.
In other exciting things, K and I did a triathlon on sunday, we ran/walked 1.5km, biked 6km, and swam 100m. the club here does it in reverse order so that we all arent trying to start in the pool at once. K was brilliant, she rode on her half bike and we averaged 16kph which is good, I ended up with her on my back for the swim which wasnt so great but at least we finished it.
D
Am really unhappy at being sick as i have only just got over the bout I had at xmas.
In other exciting things, K and I did a triathlon on sunday, we ran/walked 1.5km, biked 6km, and swam 100m. the club here does it in reverse order so that we all arent trying to start in the pool at once. K was brilliant, she rode on her half bike and we averaged 16kph which is good, I ended up with her on my back for the swim which wasnt so great but at least we finished it.
D
ok,, i am an insomniac at the moment
Posted in on 12:13 AM by Azlemed
I cannot sleep very well at all, it was well after 2am this morning when I finally got to sleep.
And to make me feel just a little peed off... I was trying to change some stuff on my page and have totally stuffed up the colours so am annoyed at how my blog looks too.
The house stuff is there lol.... I arent sure what is happening, we are still discussing it with friends and family.
love D
And to make me feel just a little peed off... I was trying to change some stuff on my page and have totally stuffed up the colours so am annoyed at how my blog looks too.
The house stuff is there lol.... I arent sure what is happening, we are still discussing it with friends and family.
love D
what to say...
Posted in home ownership on 10:14 PM by Azlemed
other than the expletives that are running around in my head. the guy cam back with an offer, we counteroffered today and hes said nope.. wont budge..... so what do we do.....
I am grumpy, we can afford to raise the price we offered, but do we, or do we wait a week then offer a different price. am totally confused.
it doesnt help that its been quite warm today and the kids have been grumpy with it, therefore i am a bit less patient than normal.
hmmmm..................................................
ps i like dots..........................
I am grumpy, we can afford to raise the price we offered, but do we, or do we wait a week then offer a different price. am totally confused.
it doesnt help that its been quite warm today and the kids have been grumpy with it, therefore i am a bit less patient than normal.
hmmmm..................................................
ps i like dots..........................
sleeplessness
Posted in on 12:41 AM by Azlemed
its 12:41am and i am wide awake, we made an offer on the house, the vendor has counteroffered and tomorrow/today we will go back with a higher offer....
So i sit here wide awake, my mind is churning numbers and thoughts over ans over, i kinda figured that writing might help move the thoughts so i can get some sleep.
Ben goes back to work tomorrow after a 2 week break. will be strange being home with the kids all day by myself.
love D
ps i am going to bed now in the hope of sleeping a bit, not likely anytime soon though cos Mr O is teething and waking a lot so far, hopefully the pamol will kick in soon.
So i sit here wide awake, my mind is churning numbers and thoughts over ans over, i kinda figured that writing might help move the thoughts so i can get some sleep.
Ben goes back to work tomorrow after a 2 week break. will be strange being home with the kids all day by myself.
love D
ps i am going to bed now in the hope of sleeping a bit, not likely anytime soon though cos Mr O is teething and waking a lot so far, hopefully the pamol will kick in soon.
exciting times
Posted in home ownership on 10:07 PM by Azlemed
We are thinking about making an offer on a house, its really exciting and nerve racking at the same time, the whole idea of having a mortgage is a bit scary but possibly no worse than deciding to have children was.
The house is really nice, its near some friends of ours and close to school and kindy which means we could walk most days.
So i am sitting here feeling excited, anxious, nervous etc, am going to have a milo soon, and go to bed.
love D
The house is really nice, its near some friends of ours and close to school and kindy which means we could walk most days.
So i am sitting here feeling excited, anxious, nervous etc, am going to have a milo soon, and go to bed.
love D
home ownership part 2
Posted in home ownership, mortgages on 2:41 PM by Azlemed
We have had an appraisal done on this house.... so are just waiting to have a wee look around before selling it.
We have looked at one house which i really like... ben likes it too but wants to look at other houses in the area. the bnz were really good to talk to and we will probably go with them for a mortgage. its all a bit scary in some ways.... feels very scary to be looking at over $200k of debt, but then we are lucky palmy isnt as expensive as other parts of nz.
we are hoping to move closer to K's school and L's kindy, I will be doing double pick ups or drop off for the next 4 years so being closer would be good.
We are a bit unsure about what sort of price to offer, how much under QV to go etc..... any advise would be great....
love D
We have looked at one house which i really like... ben likes it too but wants to look at other houses in the area. the bnz were really good to talk to and we will probably go with them for a mortgage. its all a bit scary in some ways.... feels very scary to be looking at over $200k of debt, but then we are lucky palmy isnt as expensive as other parts of nz.
we are hoping to move closer to K's school and L's kindy, I will be doing double pick ups or drop off for the next 4 years so being closer would be good.
We are a bit unsure about what sort of price to offer, how much under QV to go etc..... any advise would be great....
love D
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