dark feelings snuck up on me

I have just burst into tears because N wanted yet another feed... stupid really... crying over a bloody feed..... I am sitting here surrounded by a huge muddle, the kids are stuck inside cos its been raining and I am loosing the plot in my head...

N is 18 months this week, so its 19 months since I stopped taking my meds (bar 2 weeks last year) but today I am wondering if I should go back on them, my mood is quite low, I am tired for no reason, and cant get out of my own way....

me thinks I better talk to Ben and look at going to see my GP and get sorted. I hate feeling like this, and I know that it will just get worse if I dont sort it out now.

love D


Puerhan said...
April 18, 2011 at 4:57 PM

sorry to hear you've got tough times again. have you thought about or tried other options for depression? I have read that some types of meditation / mindfulness training can be very good and also emotional therapy (as opposed to straight forward therapy)
x E

Puerhan said...
April 18, 2011 at 5:02 PM

Lots of potentially useful information here: http://www.mbct.com/

I think there are practitioners in NZ also

Demelza said...
April 18, 2011 at 5:14 PM

I am ok with taking the medication, I am skating regularly which helps a bit with the mood, I will look at that site though and see if I can find anything in that too, I have to keep eating well too as I dont want to undo all the work I have been doing there,

Some of it is seasonal, so I might get my light box out and try some light therapy in the mornings to help with the serotion uptake too..


Puerhan said...
April 18, 2011 at 5:36 PM

sounds good!

not knocking the meds, just that MBCT and the like are tools to *empower yourself* :-)

Demelza said...
April 18, 2011 at 5:50 PM

thanks, I try most things lol so as not to end up feeling like this, its been a while, and the quick onset of gross weather definitely hasnt helped either. I have done well being med free for 18 months, its the longest since I turned 17, so cant complain at that. Will look at the site after I go skating

stef said...
April 19, 2011 at 10:57 PM

Sorry to hear that, hope you find the med/talk therapy that's right for you

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