day two....

well its 10 am, and I have made school lunch and taken miss 5 to school, gotten bubs fed and dressed, settled miss nearly 3 in front of a dvd, and done my hair lol.

I actually dont feel like I have achieved anything yet, but when its written down it looks so much better. Next week it will become more complicated as miss nearly 3 will start afternoon kindy, I am a bit sad about it really as it means shes starting her education.... she currently asking for cheese so had better feed her.

I am battling a slightly darker mood at the moment, I am struggling to get basic housework done and am sinking under a pile of clean washing that needs folded..... I hate this time of year, it always gets me down, whats not helping is that the promised support from the community mental health team has not happened.....

When everything went to custard last year we tried to get help for me, it was an uphill battle that ended up with me shifting with the two girls to my parents. Down in rural Otago I was able to get psychiatric help, two fab midwives, home help and numerous other support systems were in place. Before moving back up here we were given the understanding that i would have the same support up here....... yeah right.

I arent sick enough.

having depression, generalised anxiety, 3 kids, no family support etc is not enough to get me any help other than fornightly counselling.

why is there this discrepency in care between rural Nz and a city? makes me wonder, maybe i should have just stayed down there with mum and dad, but then that wouldnt have helped my marriage or my parents.

tbc....