hair going natural colour tonight

I have bought a packet of dye that is very close to my natural colour and tonight I am going to dye my hair. Its got over an inch of regrowth so I at least had a good idea of what colour I needed to do it.

as I have said previously I haven't had my hair my natural colour for 11 years, so its going to be a bit strange in some ways, I am not going to dye it for the next year which will be nice in some ways, a bit of freedom from the regrowth and the cost of getting it done.

K and I are measuring my tummy before she goes to bed which will be interesting. I am only 10 weeks, but that's according to the scan dates, I put myself at 11 weeks tomorrow, I have the midwife on Thursday so will talk to her about home birth and my dates.

back home and happy

I had an awesome time in Chch, was so cool to see my Lil sister graduate and I was so proud of her and her achievements. Was a pretty rushed trip but great to see people etc, even saw a couple of my old lecturers which was cool.

On other very exciting news, we went unconditional on our house on Thursday, we are really stoked and it was stressful getting there, now just to sort everything out and move on the 29th of May.

K informed me yesterday after not seeing me for 4 days that I had a big belly, and shes right, so each tuesday we are going to measure me to see how much bigger I am getting, will be a bit of a giggle and really cool for her to see the differences that occur.

D

off line for the next couple of days

I am off to Christchurch tomorrow morning for my sisters graduation, I have decided not to take my laptop with me. I am having some time out from the net etc.

I am taking the wee fella with me which will be nice, the girls are staying home with Ben.

The house sale goes unconditional on Friday which is very cool. Been very stressful but it should all work out in the end.

D

damn nasty chest infection

I am crook as a dog at the moment, morning sickness combined with a chest infection is not doing me wonders. I know its worse because of the stress we are under at the moment with trying to buy a house and the stress just isnt getting any better.

I am actually going to head to the bathroom soon and run myself a lovely bath, light some nice scented candles and relax. I am also hoping that the steam will help clear my nose and chest a bit too... yay.

I find baths really relaxing, I would love to have a spa bath at some stage but its not going to happen anytime soon. Thats one of the reasons that I would love to have a water birth, the water is just so calming for me, just about like a meditative thing in some ways. So off I go to have my nice relax and time out. D

ps... I didnt have my bath, instead I sat in bed and watched "under the tuscan sun" with Ben which was really nice

v8 supercars

I have been a racing fan since I was little, I love the sound of the V8's and enjoy watching it. What I dont get though is the scantily clad women used for advertising, dancing in provocative ways... what is the relevance at all? Do companies think men are so simple that they need sexy women to turn them on before they watch cars race? I also wonder this when it comes to advertising on TV.... the lastest example of not relevent I can think of are the coke zero ads.

The coke ads are supposedly aimed at men who think it will make them look hot and attractive to sexy women covered in cream and chocolate sauce. I know I arent the dempgraphic that this ad is aimed at but I dont get the dumbing down of advertising that makes out men are thick and will drink a product cos it will make them look sexy.

I also dont get half naked men used to advertise chocolate biscuits... it doesnt make me want to go buy toffee pops because it showed half naked men fawning over a "normal" woman.

Maybe I am too PC on this one, but it does bother me the dumbing down of advertising, and the use of scantily clad women as crowd pleasers at V8 races.

Current fashions

ok, I arent 100% up to date with what should be worn at the moment, but coloured skinny jeans look very similar to the bubblegum jeans that my cousins had in the 1980's and the coloured jeans I had at high school. I aren't that old yet seeing some things again is getting scary.

Like wearing tights with long tops, been there done that, and scarily and doing it again, but not full length, just 3/4 tights in summer. My feet get too cold to not wear socks or something on them in the winter. and whats with the check shirts and big belts.. over short shorts? not that flattering really....

Sometimes I wonder what is going to come in next from my childhood, please not brown corduroy knicker bockers...

I guess what fashion I wear this winter is more likely to be influenced by whether my tummy looks big in this lol... than whether my butt looks big for once.

D

Sleep

I went to bed at 8:30pm, I was absolutely knackered and really grumpy, so I decided sleep was more important than anything else, I have woken up today feeling a lot better which is good. not quite so worn out feeling which I am liking.

We are still having issues getting a mortgage, the bank that had pre approved us has declined us so we are trying two other banks. its so time consuming, they want copies of everything so I feel like I am running around printing stuff and dropping pages off etc. Its all rather mad in some ways.

I am a bit over it in some ways, the euphoria isnt there about buying a house at the moment, maybe it will feel better once we are sorted $$ wise.

So off to do bank stuff later this morning, and I am going to take the kids for a swim which will be nice for them. D

feeling blah

So although I am excited about going away, I actually feel like crap, I have a chest infection on top of morning sickness which isn't great at all. I am feeling really nervous about getting a mortgage and its all feeling a bit much today.

I have been feeling a bit down lately anyway so its not surprising that I am not feeling great and that its all a bit much. I am going to get dressed and take the kids out for a while, might even go to the park for a change of scenery.

D

going to chch next week

yay, only for a couple of days, but it will be awesome, just me and the wee fella. My sister is graduating from Lincoln University, which is so cool, she threw her studies in a few years ago then last year went back and finished her degree. What also makes it cool is that Mum and I are both Lincoln Grads too. Mum graduated in 1998, and I graduated in 2000.

I am going to stay with O's godfather which will be cool, might even get to go out with just my parents and sister which will be really strange as that very rarely happens now.

so its going to be quite cool to see my wee sister graduate with her degree and I am really proud of her.

birth... why do women feel like failures?

I read a lot of blogs by other women, some I know personally and some I have never met. A reoccuring theme to those that are by mothers is the inadequacy that they felt because they had a c section or an epidural, that they couldnt give birth properly. It makes me sad that some thing as empowering as childbirth is disempowering women because they feel like they have failed.

I have never had a c section so I dont understand what it is like, what the pain is like afterwards, what the feelings associated with it are like, but I have friends who have coped with it in different ways, some take the as long as the baby is ok approach, others take the I failed approach, it seems to be a dividing issue at parent groups the I have given birth vaginally vs the c sections... it is stupid. Of course giving birth naturally is the preferable option but if the life of the mother or baby is at stake then c sections are necessary. I do question though repeat use of them without trying to give birth vaginally, I do question the number of interventions used that then lead to the c section, the unneccessry inductions because 40 weeks is when pregnancy should end. Says who? pregnancy in humans is between 38 to 42 weeks from last menstrual period. due date, is just an estimated time of arrival, I have had one baby 4 days before edd, one the night before and one at 41 weeks. each was perfect and that was the outcome we wanted.

I am lucky to have had three relatively easy non complecated births, yep they were bloody painful but my pain releif options were limited because of the length of my labours.. pethidine wasnt an option, the gas made me feel gross, a shower helped and anything else just wasnt going to happen because I wasnt in labour for long enough. I am lucky I give birth easily. K's deleivery was great, short, and intense and scary because I was told to expect 12 hrs or more and we got to 3 all up. I then Haemorraged... now that was scary... I had to go to theatre etc, have blood transfusions, didnt get to feed my girl till the next morning, she then ended up in neonatal unit because she was cold and jaundice.... a bloody scary introduction into parenthood.

My second birth was much better, we knew to expect a short labour, that there was the possiblity of pph, but that we would have everything in place to stop it happening, L's labour was great, sunny afternoon, relaxed, what we had planned for. She too had jaundice and spent time in neonates.

O's birth was awesome, I went into labour in the early morning, my dad timed contractions, my parents met him when he was hours old, we were in Oamaru, the birthing unit there is small, and quiet, I loved it, and would be so tempted to go back there if I could.

This time I am thinking about having a home birth, I am throwing ideas around about it, who knows I might just opt for the option I know best and go to hospital, its all early days though.

Anyway I digressed a bit there, I watched the Business of being born again yesterday, and it reinforced for me the fact that women are being made to feel inadequate even before they give birth, that they wont be able to cope with the pain, that its too hard.... we have been giving birth for millenia, often with a midwife to guide us. It seems that birth has become so medicalised that we treat it as part of an illness something that needs fixed that we need Drs for because we cant do it. I have had midwifery care for all three, and am doing the same again, I arent sick, I am pregnant. We need to claim back birth as normal, as something that we can do, I arent saying that intervention shouldnt happen, its is necessary in some cases, just that we need to look at why interventions are happening and why we are made to feel like we are failing if we dont accpet them as "normal"

Childbirth is one of the most amazing journeys that you ever take, to feel like a failure is not an acceptable outcome for me or any other women. We need to talk about our experiences, not just the horror stories, we need to reclaim childbirth as a womens issue, not a "medical" issue